restraint

Very grumpy, but not with you dear reader :)
Written stroppy email to try and convey how grumpy I feel. Trying to resist urge to send email. Know that passing on grumpiness isn't very effective. Reciting to self "give people a bit of your heart not a piece of your mind". There was another good bit of wisdom on fb too, something about not trusting your tongue when your heart is bitter. I know my life certainly would be much better if others had kept that in mind, so I will hang fire. It's a thin line tho isn't it. If you don't let others know what you feel, then they don't know. If you only show patience, and your best attempt at kindness, then they think you're kind - wait, that's not so bad. I just don't want to be a doormat. Being assertive is fine. Letting people know how I feel is fine. Sometimes it's just counter productive tho.
I think it has helped to get down on paper, so to speak, some of my annoyances. I shall be sensible (when am I ever anything else?) and will re-read it in the cold light of day and see if it needs warming up a little. To be honest, my "complaint" letters are usually so friendly, people may not realise I'm complaining. Maybe I'm just scared of people thinking I'm not happy with them.

I'm hoping my Grandma will be discharged from hospital tomorrow. I've missed being able to ring her, even tho it's not really any longer than I would normally go without talking to her. I'm used to people having fb and being instantly contactable I guess.
I also miss my cat. And it's hooked back into my first memories of loss - I was gutted when I lost my first pet as a child. Each morning so far when the dog has jumped off my bed, I've steeled myself for the yowl and got ready to jump out and intervene, only to then remember that the dog and the cat won't fight anymore. Silver linings.
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I've not even re-read the email, but will do when I get chance and modify it.
Off shortly to watch my girly perform in the the sound of music. Hope whatever mountains you've had to climb today, you've been giving it all the love you can give and following your dream :D