pushing at the edges

Now, don't laugh too much at the ridiculousness of this, but last night I realised I don't have to follow my own unwritten rules. It was getting late and I was feeling hungry. Usually, I berate myself for staying up late enough to be getting hungry and then go to bed so it's soon breakfast. Last night I decided to make myself a cheese and chutney bap, and then, wait for it... eat it in bed. I hadn't even realised I had unwritten rules about food in my bed at bedtime. It felt so exciting to be doing something I wouldn't normally do. I shall now be on the lookout for what else I don't do but could :D

This boundary pushing is great. I was pleased to be a little brave at the weekend too. On saturday at the conference I was chairing, I decided I'd open things by singing "Oh What a beautiful morning", and encouraging folk to join in with me. They did. Not many people know the verse tho, I discovered. Then on Sunday I enjoy singing in the chapel, they are strong singers. I plucked up courage to sing some harmonies to the hymns, and it was much appreciated. I don't think they are joking when they say they'd like me to go and teach them some time. We'll see.

Most mornings I'm still waking up with a negative message in my head so I'm trying to counter that by making my first deliberate thoughts "I love you" and then sending that out. So it's like a prayer, to God, to all my loved ones near and far, and also to myself. I'm pleased that this morning the song on my head was Dido's "thankyou" - a much more affirming song to wake to than the one that usually pops into my head first thing.

I hope that you get to notice where you limit yourself and push a little against it. And that you hear all the "I love yous" :D