wanted poster

My girly joked that I may end up on a wanted poster for suspicious behaviour, hanging round in parks giving people things. It occurs to me that a wanted poster is EXACTLY what I need right now!!! Last week I was so focussed on the funeral and supporting others who would be there, I think I postponed having any reaction to receiving the divorce certificate (certificate is actually far too grand a word, it's a thin piece of A4 paper with a bit of type that's not even been laid out well). It could say anything really but in my mind it says "We have looked at all the evidence and have concluded that you were a bit rubbish at that relationship malarkey after all, so with regret, you're fired." In worrying about the potential redundancy next week, I don't think I'm even thinking about the practical side, I'm seeing it as yet another jam on that big button labelled "not good enough, not wanted, move along please."

So I need to keep focussing on the contradictions. Yesterday someone from choir brought along a book she'd spotted in her church and so borrowed on behalf of me as she thought I'd find it useful. People do think well of me all the time and show me just how much I matter. I AM wanted, big time, by lots and lots of lovely people. Just not currently by the police ;)