unpopular ideals

Some of my thinking runs counter to the capitalist/ consumer culture we inhabit, that thrives on exploitation. When I first went on welcoming diversity and prejudice reduction training I came across a concept I'd not heard fully articulated before and have referred to in my blogs but I don't think properly explained.
It is similar to any other oppression, in this case the power exerted is on the basis of age, that simply because someone is an adult they feel entitled to more respect that those who are not (just like as a white middle class heterosexual I've been indoctrinated to believe I'm more important than those who aren't). One interesting facet of this oppression is that it can go two ways. Some adults remember the injustice of being made to do what a "grown up" insisted simply because they said so, and now react against it and so stand up for young people. But many have been robbed of their power in the process and so are resigned to this as just being the way of the world and in some ways wanting to get revenge by continuing the punishment - I had to suffer I don't see why you shouldn't too.

Given our society's obsession with worth being linked to productivity and money, I can see how kids get looked down on. I've been considering how pricing structures can end up justifying attitudes towards people. When discounts are offered to some, is it in recognition that some folk simply can't afford to pay as much as others? A sliding scale of charges working like this makes sense to me. Children, some pensioners, and those in receipt of benefits then get to participate because of subsidising by those who are more able to afford those theatre tickets or whatever the situation is. Where I struggle is if that might validate the view that those people haven't paid as much and so aren't viewed as equal. And I suspect that such pricing is less driven by a desire for wealth redistribution and more about profit, that discounted tickets might entice families who would otherwise stay away.

As well as the sound principle of those who can afford more paying more, there sometimes seems to be sense behind reduced prices for children. Young kids can eat less than adults so it is logical to pay less. I much prefer it tho when that is open to all, so smaller meals available to anyone for whom a small meal suits them, rather than to a limited few - can only those with kids buy kids meals? I was at a service station the other day and my budget didn't run to two adult meals but I was able to play the system and buy a kid's meal as if it were for my daughter only I then had that smaller portion - without salad as kids apparently don't like salad.

Often tho a child may not consume less despite paying less - yes their bottoms are smaller but they still occupy a whole bus or cinema seat. I imagine there's a fixed cinema capacity so no-one would expect a child to give up their seat there, but on a bus I wonder if rates matter when actually to me the orverriding factor should be needs and mutual respect. Having already some days experienced bone weariness, I don't want to imagine what it might be like as I continue to age. I've always been grateful if someone has offered me their seat - particularly if this is based on need rather than identity - so the person who stands up as they're getting off at the next stop anyway, not the man who somehow feels he has less right to comfort due to his testoterone levels. Children often but not always have more energy than adults so it might often make sense for them to give up a seat to someone older, but I don't think that should be an automatic privilege of adulthood. The difficulty is how on earth do we compare needs? We don't know how the other is feeling on a comparative scale with how we are doing. What is important to me won't be priority to you. And how do we work things out when needs seem in direct conflict? So the toddler who has never been to church before has just the same right to be there loudly protesting that sitting still is very boring, and the old man who has sat in the same corner every week for the last 8 decades has exactly the same right to be there and also have his needs respected to be able to hear the sermon with his failing hearing. It's not an easy thing to find the way forwards there without making either feel excluded or less important. It annoys me when I hear "children are the future of the church" - no, they are the church right now. As are the elderly (oppression by age isn't confined to those deemed too young. maybe that's another blog?) We have come a long long way from the era where "children should be seen and not heard" but in my mind we've still not come far enough.

A whole new raft of challenges has opened up to me on becoming a parent, committed to the ideals of ending young people's oppression. I guess at my heart is the belief that my two lovelies are no less important than me even though the temptations are to wave about the accepted norms of power, that I earn more than they do and I have more experience. Clearly I'm not the type to ever utter the words "because I say so" anyway. But I have to be honest, it can get hard. Respect is important to me and key to that is trust - they are both really keen that I demonstrate that I totally trust them. This includes in knowing that only they and not I know what is best for themselves. This can get tough for parents. I have a duty of care which means there are some mistakes I don't want them to learn from - they may want to have the freedom to wander into the road but I know that the consequences of that may not be ones they live to learn from.

There is so much I still could pour out. Only I actually have to work you know. My girly last night in the bathroom painted her toenails using real glitter. Today, despite staying up til 3.30am to discharge some of my feelings, I am delighted to say that I will still be shining - literally :D