I thought that the funeral would help me accept that Paul really is dead. Yet hearing so much about him throughout the day and chatting round the kitchen table til late at night seems to have made him more alive somehow.
I guess I'll continue to process how I feel for some days. Right now I'm immensely glad I came. I intend to take the journey home very gently.
I'm waiting for my girly. I know teenagers can't be rushed, I remember how toddlers can't be rushed. It's great that children, rightly, have no sense of urgency. Tho frustrating when we have places to go. I wonder if it's a counter to the young people's oppression where they are frequently being told by adults where they haveto be, what they have to do. IIt's a small amount of power they have that no-one can speed them up. I will just have to keep reminding myself that although I wanted to leave an hour ago, we have no absolute deadlines for today....
Home and
I'm so glad I dont have much I have to do these next couple of days.
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