just the way you are

It's a clever balance, to love people just the way they already are, and encourage them to try new ways of being rather than their default modes, if indeed that's what they'd like to do.
"It's just the way I am" can be an excuse for behaviour that doesn't do themselves or anyone else any favours but to suggest they should be/do any different can be a rejection. So what to do? Well I guess a start is asking people if just cos that's the way they've always done it, does it mean that's the way they want to do it - maybe they do, in which case there's nothing more we can do right now - change only comes from within, not from someone badgering us to just do it differently (their way?!) If someone is keen to try something different then a bit of light encouragement - what could happen if they tried something a teeny bit different this time? What are they worried might happen? What is getting in the way of trying it differently?

We've done things a certain way for a long time cos it's served us well. We may want to change but it requires an override of a well worn groove. Go gently on us as we try to alter a bit about ourselves -( for me currently it's to be a bit less 'on call' , my modus operandi I'm trying to play around with).

And whether we or they decide to stick with the ways we know well, there's everything to be gained by the reminder that we're loved just the way we are B-) that we will not be loved any more if we become the epitome of relaxation, or that anyone will be disappointed in us if we stay on call forever :-)