Divine imaginings

Following a fab discussion started by an atheist friend, last night I asked myself an interesting question. If at the end of my life I found out that God doesn't exist after all, do I think I'll have any regrets, or wish I'd lived my life differently? Clearly it's not easy to fully imagine the situation. But I think that it'd be fine. I don't feel I do anything just because of “religion”, I don't think I'd feel I'd wasted my time/life. There has been the odd boring sermon, to be honest, time I'm never getting back – but usually even in the dullest of services there's some nugget of inspiration. If I discovered God doesn't exist, I don't think I'd feel too foolish – I'm not the sort of person who encourages others to believe what I believe so I don't feel I've tried to convert anyone - shown people love, yes; insist I have all the answers, no. I don't think I'd feel like I'd denied myself – how galling would that be for folk who have lived a particular way only because of some unfulfilled expectation. I'm not trying to store up riches in heaven – I believe in life before death and justice for all in the here and now. 

This is the way I want to live my life – maybe motivated by my belief in a loving being, but I don't feel the way I live would be negated if such a being turned out to be a figment of my imagination. And whose to say my imagination isn't real anyhow?

And so why bother? My belief in God matters to me and makes sense to me in the here and now. Trying to love the best I can and receiving love matters to me. Someone once asked if that didn't make me a humanist. I think in many ways I'd make a good humanist. Except for the fact that I believe in God.

Maybe next time I'll try and ask myself interesting questions earlier on in the evening...