fuddled

I was brave yesterday. I've told the mortgage people I'm not willing to sign a form that says I will pay "any fees" as that feels carte blanche to be charged anything. They did send an accompanying fees list, but some of them just say the fee is "varied". I don't enter financial agreements with anyone else that are open ended. When I go and choose tea from the shop, it's knowing how much it will cost - that's part of how I make the decision. If someone is doing work on my house (the tiles on the roof were replaced yesterday, 6 months later, hurrah!!!) I have a quote in advance, and if that needs to change, we discuss it. First.
It's brave cos it feels like I could be back at square one with the mortgage process but we'll see if I get a reply.

Non- financial agreements are a different beast entirely. Us people do our best but we are ruled by fear at times and so don't manage what we agree, and at other times soar and exceed expectations. And then sometimes we're just a bit ditzy - I have made a lovely lunch for Joe today to belatedly remember he is still not back at school til tomorrow. I'm not sure I can send it to his Dad's with him cos it might look like I don't think he can provide a good lunch, so I will pop it in the fridge and hope it survives an extra day. Let's hope my brain is less fuddled by the time I lead the workshop later!!

...
I'm waiting for the mortgage legal people to ring me back. My girly didn't know who I had phoned, and thought I was speaking to a relative on the phone to them when I called out "Love you", so went "who, me?" I said it would be a stretch for me to tell the mortgage peeps that I love them. I am currently holding them in my best imaginings possible as I want the call to go well (ie me not cry, and hopefully move forwards rather than me call the whole thing off). But I fear they would think me unhinged if  I told them I loved them when I've not spoken to them before. Interestingly, that's the tricky thing about love isn't it? It's easy to say and do when all is going swimmingly and things are easy. It's much harder when the situation is fraught. Sometimes when I'm at my shoutiest, I remind myself just how much I love those present. I have some great people in my life who model well to me how to love even when it's tricky. And sometimes I feel I do well too, even when the going gets tough. Yay for love :)