careful not tight

I once was voted by a friend the person in the room who cared least about money - there were about 30 of us and one young woman turned to commiserate as if it were a failing, whereas I beamed :) It's true, there's at least a million more things important, and so I pay scant attention to my bank statement, pay slip, debtors etc. So far everything's worked out fine and given that life is short why would I use any of my breathing energy on accounting. And yet I also have been called tight. I do check my receipts and will ask for a 10p discrepancy. My mum taught me that if you take care of the pennies, the pounds take care of themselves. I just don't spend money unless it seems necessary. I endlessly mend and re-purpose things rather than throw away and buy new. In my mind this doesn't make me tight, but careful, and I like to think of myself as generous, and try to give away more than I spend, and where I do spend, I buy with intentionality. So will always pay more and only buy fairtrade bananas, free range eggs. Have I told you all this before? Anyway, today's point. Last night was a bit of a shock.
Breastfeeding and then sharing bits of food from my plate, and then as they grew, having my meal/pudding/snack from their leftovers means feeding my kids has barely cost anything. Washable nappies, passed on clothes and the like means that raising kids has never cost me the astronomic amounts oft quoted. Til now.
No longer choosing from the kids menu, and with consumer desires of their own, it's all turning. Their drinks last night, at £2.45 each, are more than my monthly brew contribution at work. And we looked at coats for my daughter - she has several but none seem particularly warm (to me) or look quite right (to her). How can a girl's coat cost £75? I see now how I have made it thus far on my income with my careful refusal of purchasing. Whilst a bit terrified, I know my creativity and resourcefulness will get me through this next time of wanting to meet my offsprings' desires that are different to my own (tho not agreeing to everything. I'm not that soft. And I still have my principles).
I know writing this is from a place of priviledge. I know for some money worries keep them awake at night and running scared by day. I'm sorry we live in that kind of world and I'm trying to do something about that.
Much love to you today in whatever you do, whatever is motivating you, whatever is holding you back. I hope you find abundance in all that matters to you. xx