When you can really relate to someone's situation it can make it easier to empathise. And yet it can also make it so much harder as it can kick you straight back into your own pain. I was able to get close to someone in church yesterday because her grief was not my grief. I was also able to cuddle up to my sad girly last night, but couldn't do it without crying myself as her feelings of loss are so similar to mine.
Today is supposed to be a day of celebration - if my boyfriend is well enough, we're off for a whole evening of food and music. I don't believe in a God of a Big minutely executed Plan, who thought "right, i'll make it so Kristie loves autumn so she'll get married then and I'll ensure her boyfriend of later on is born on that same day cos that will be interesting to see how she handles that." I also refuse to believe that I'm being tested with all these unending challenges this year. I do believe in a God who stays alongside me no matter how bloody hard it is.
I've remembered that Buddhist teaching that I love - when you feel in need of encouragement, encourage others. Maybe once I've powered through some of these things on my to do list, it is the perfect day to don my flowers in my hair and go out into my town and see who else needs a big hug today.
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