I've been asked not to change before - and I understand that it's meant as a compliment, that they think you are lovely/perfect just the way you are - I think it also included some people's stuff - their own hopelesness in the face of a young person's idealism. It is of course a ridiculous request - we're changing all the time.
I've shared this on fb today:
"When she transformed into a butterfly, the caterpillars spoke not of her beauty but of her weirdness. They wanted her to change back into what she always had been.
But she had wings." Dean Jackson.
It's been a massive time of change for me these last few months. So far, I'm loving being 40 - I suspect it's to do with no longer being able to view myself as a little girl, which is how I have sometimes seen myself. That's brought an increased confidence - I think I now expect people to take me more seriously, so take myself more seriously. I've made a conscious decision to wear brighter clothes (helped by being given an amazing eccentric flowing coat). Knowing that a neighbour hasn't long to live has helped me focus on making the most of each moment. Having had the love of so many friends around me has also been fantastic - being sung happy birthday to by a whole hall-full of people who love me was immense!
My daughter starting high school also has impacted upon me - she seems to be sailing through the change - but I'm still adjusting! There is a temptation to want to try and keep things as they were, comfortable, un-challenging, known. And of course we can't, but I understand my inner protesting that everything is changing too fast, the territory isn't familiar. I need to remember that I LOVE going down roads I've never been down before in an actual sense - so could extend that to allegorically too.
So today, I shall be noticing my feelings of weirdness about myself and about others, but working through those feelings to see and feel the beauty. Flexing my wings and encouraging others to do likewise :)
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