every now and then I get a little bit terrified

This lyric jumped out at me when singing it yesterday evening. Do you ever get so overwhelmed by fear that you can't get out of bed and face it? Well I'm up now, so I beat the inertia, and hopefully drumming later will help too.
Drumming was good. As were the white chocolate profiteroles.

party/politics/person

It was with no little trepidation that I opened my email account this morning. Last night I put myself out there to say why I would be voting for someone despite despising the party who is backing him. I have a deep love and respect for Andy, who is standing as police and crime commissioner for Lancashire, and think he would do a brilliant job as he cares compassionately about people and fairness, and is one of the most generous people I know.
And yet I - along with many of my facebook friends - abhor what his party has done recently. Will people be outraged that I would be voting for him when they don't know personally what a lovely man he is? Will my conservative friends - of which I also have some - be appalled by my disgust of their party? It's not about being liked thankfully, as my post isn't going to do that. But I hope by being honest, people who wouldn't think of voting conservative might consider the possibility if they know I think he's ace. Cos he is.

Nice sky on the way home again. Contrasts are striking, foreboding clouds, yet bright light swathes. Church spite silhouetted against gorgeous colour. It's been a week of contrasts. Life, death, joy, sadness, laughter and tears. I've not had a cheese course for a fortnight, but today I have scoffed two mars bars as I'm not in touch with my contentment.

subjectivity

Yesterday's thought processes involved wishing there was a camera filming my life so others would understand me better. That wish that if only people knew what I was doing, maybe they would get my motivations, my struggles. Only then I realised that even the best documentary, even if my every thought could be recorded, still would be received subjectively. That we understand things through our own lenses. So someone might get a really thorough glimpse into my life but still interpret it through their own experiences, so have no sympathy at all.
My desire to be appreciated and understood is very strong. I've built my faith round it - the concept of God I choose is someone who knows me thoroughly and thinks I'm doing great.

The film crew would have had an interesting day, my life isn't dull that's for sure. I don't think it would make nationwide worthy viewing tho. It's not a day I'd like to repeat. I'm working this eve, and working on Sunday, it feels like I'm working all the time at the moment and it doesn't even add up to full time.

I often tell people that nothing is wasted. Today it's hard to feel the truth in that. I've recently spent many many hours looking at cars only to not get one. And then last week my every waking moment planning a holiday that is not going to come to fruition.With my time feeling scarce at the moment, it's hard to practice what I preach as it all just feels like it was time spent in vain.
Maybe i was right. The searching for a holiday hasn't been pointless. I've booked it.

ruminating

My Dad has given me a love of languages for which I'm very grateful. This morning the first line I thought of for my blog involved the word ruminating, and I had a vague sense that it was connected to cows chewing the cud, and indeed I'm right. So when I want to open with
"I spent some of yesterday ruminating on the differences between love and unconditional positive regard"
it conjours in my mind a picture of me as a cow (it's a Friesian) not just cogitating in my head but in my belly too. It's a reasonable enough comparison to how my life goes, I guess.

I didn't really reach many conclusions. I was so pleased when in my life I discovered the concept of Unconditional Positive Regard. It makes so much sense to me and it's how I want to be - not just in my counselling and supporting situations, but All The Time. And to me, whilst it's not the same as love, it's a springboard to it. It makes loving both strangers and close ones easier, to trust they are doing their best. When someone I don't know does something that has the potential to ruin my day, like nearly crash into my car, UPR is what helps me keep my thoughts loving towards them. When things get tricky in any relationship, UPR keeps me grounded in a more hopeful way, optimistic that a way forwards of some sorts will be found.
So no, it's not love, but it helps love to grow/be sustained :)

The sky was beautiful tonight as I drove home from choir. A variety of clouds,  some with sharp edges,  others feathering away into blurs. I don't have the right word, in my mind or belly,  for the shades and brightness of the blues.

lemon curd/cheese

I'm not rightly sure of the difference between lemon curd and lemon cheese, the latter to me tastes no different from the curd and certainly doesn't make me think of cheese at all. As a child I didn't like lemon curd but following the amazing jar I purchased at a craft fair we sang at in December, I have been thinking about it and yesterday splashed out on another jar, which despite not being home made (tho still local) is nonetheless rather lovely. Thickly (for me) spread on some white fresh bread this morning wasn't the healthiest option available, but I enjoyed it :)

I have a yellowy soup for lunch so maybe today is a yellow day.

Whatever colour your day is I hope you revel in it.

nervous juggling

There's still plenty of new things in my new job and today is another new location, new people.
This friday I need to be in 4 different places at 7pm but I've discovered one of those places is not as far away as I thought, so it should all be possible :)

Lots of us are doing a time/money juggle. Today, since I got near the hospital with time to spare I parked at a distance, saving me the parking costs, but meaning it took much longer to get there. But if I'd parked in the multi storey I'd have missed the bluebells. So a win/win?

It makes me v happy that my girly, in need of some glue for a homework project, has made herself a paste with flour and water. I know I will be less happy when tomorrow I'm trying to separate the brush from the cereal bowl she's made it in :-)

race to the finish

My boyfriend is away this weekend so it would have been sensible to have an early night. Instead I reached the tipping point of a book where I think I might as well get to the end. So it was 1am before lights out and I'm feeling a little bleary eyed for Sunday school this morning.
When I was pregnant I cried watching the London marathon (on tv). All those people, putting themselves through hardship, for charity. Yesterday I was moved to tears (I'm not pregnant, just ever emotional) by the photos of a man shamed on the internet for dancing, that went viral as he had that shame contradicted by so many strangers encouraging him to be his happy dancing self, with a massive party. Hope this link works...

https://www.facebook.com/TheMotherofAllNerdsPage/posts/1687238068203915?pnref=story

liberating generosity

"Generosity, to assume the best about people about people, is almost an inherently selfish act, cos the life you change first is your own"

I'm a big fan of Brene Brown, tho that is based only on a little that I've seen, so maybe to say I'm a big fan isn't quite right as then you'd imagine I've read all/some/any of her books etc. But from what I have seen maybe that's a point in itself - I'm a big fan of people full stop - I don't need the full story, I see a glimpse of something I like (in everyone) and let that be the basis on which I then love people wholeheartedly. I've been watching her today on the subject of compassion and boundaries. It's good stuff. I definitely agree that the times I thing the best of people (which is pretty much most of the time now) there is liberation from the struggles I have when I don't remember that.
I'm tempted to order a whole raft of books - the book I'm reading at the moment is escapist, which is what most of my reading is. But I do enjoy reading stuff that inspires/helps me too.

It will take me ages to actually buy anything but i've put several things into my shopping basket for now. An audio book is cheaper for one I'm interested in, but I'm not sure - I don't concentrate as well as if reading, the occasional time I've listened to a podcast. But maybe it will help ensure I don't think about work on my way to/from places and so bake two cakes in the one oven (for those of you who are not long time blog readers this is my happier version of killing two birds with one stone).

Speaking of cake, all week I've been hallucinating about the choc orange cake I saw last week at roots cafe. It's been a great motivator to not eat rubbish this week as my plan was to return today and have a slice having "earned" it. Miraculously, my boy agreed to join me, so the two of us wet. No choc orange cake this week, but I wasn't at all bothered when I saw this instead.

Couldn't even eat it all and have managed to bring some of it back in my pocket to last me the weekend. 10 mile round trip means hopefully it doesn't even really count in terms of eating it :D

brain train

I keep catching myself planning work things when I'm not meant to be working. Particularly in the early hours. So my intention is to keep reminding myself I'm not working. The pull is incredible tho, as seconds later I find myself doing it again - not necessarily the same email I need to send, but a work situation nonetheless. The more I notice the more I can gently pull myself away, and I do think I will be able to train myself out of it.
No snacks or puddings or cheese course again yesterday. I suspect it will feel more boring once I feel totally well, but mainly again, it seems to be to do with distraction. When I fancied chocolate last night I made myself a cup of tea instead, and that did the trick.
Seems like I'm trying to retrain myself a fair bit at the moment. I'm looking forwards to a fairly gentle weekend.

There's a book on boundaries that i really really really need to read.

if we took a holiday...

I thought it would be good to have something to look forward to, so started trying to plan a holiday. In some ways though I now feel even more overwhelmed about the amount of things that would need to get sorted for that to happen. We'll see.

Meanwhile I'm adding slices of lime to my large glass of water and what with the sunshine it's almost like a holiday already. Well, once I turn my work computer off. Plan is to have a relax tonight. My phones and emails have been going non stop today. I notice that I feel "important" as a result. But also worn out.

Ah, and once again I stumble on the serenity prayer I was mentioning the other day, so here is this one:
God grant me the serenity to stop beating myself for not doing things perfectly, the courage to forgive myself because I'm working on doing better and the wisdom to know that you already love me just the way I am. Eleanor Brownn

fruit n veg

Hmmm, it feel less of an achievement to have not eaten much now I know I'm not really as well as usual.
Yesterday I did drink lots of water, so that's good. I also didn't do any snacking, other than 3 strawberries. I didn't have any puddings or supper. I didn't even have breakfast, which isn't something I plan to continue, I think breakfast is important. I ate way more than the minimum 5 fruit/veg portions and little else.

Don't worry, i'm aware that this is really dull. I'm not about to regale you with an account of every lettuce leaf that passes my lips. And i don't want it to become an obbsession, just seeing if I can eat better for a bit.

Today I still don't feel well, tablets trying to keep the headache at bay. I'm pretty sure it isn't just sugar withdrawal. We'll see how today goes I guess.

Eighteen degrees in April, who would have thought. I'm not a sun person but seems shame to ignore it so me and my boy whizzed up some strawberries and bananas into a milkshake and I sat out on the back step with mine.

Feel a bit better for a sing (as always). Or maybe its the paracetamol. I'm not one for tablets really, knowing how some people don't even get a paracetamol to help when giving birth. Its been a beautiful day, and sunset. We are lucky.

drink water day

I'm fed up with feeling sick at night because of eating too much cheese or too much sweet stuff, or maybe even just Too Much.
Today my plan is to take much better care of myself. I'm aware it could simply be that I'm not well, but I think eating better is a good aim no matter what. Unusually I don't feel like breakfast but i've packed some oats in case I do once I get to work. Mainly I intend to have lots and lots of water. A salad for lunch. And hopefully no rubbish.
My willpower has never been great when it comes to resisting food so we'll see what happens. I'm not going to be hard on myself - I came across an alternative version of the serentiy prayer the other day and really liked it, about not being too harsh with ourselves. In a search for that, I came across this instead and like this lots too :) From James Martin SJ:

God, grant me the serenity
to accept the people I cannot change,
which is pretty much everyone,
since I’m clearly not you, God.
At least not the last time I checked.

And while you’re at it, God,
please give me the courage
to change what I need to change about myself,
which is frankly a lot, since, once again,
I’m not you, which means I’m not perfect.
It’s better for me to focus on changing myself
than to worry about changing other people,
who, as you’ll no doubt remember me saying,
I can’t change anyway.

Finally, give me the wisdom to just shut up
whenever I think that I’m clearly smarter
than everyone else in the room,
that no one knows what they’re talking about except me,
or that I alone have all the answers.

Basically, God,
grant me the wisdom
to remember that I’m
not you.

Amen

wading through treacle

I'm going to have to see if i can remember how to clear my cache. My computer is not playing ball and I don't feel i have the time to wait for it to catch up with itself. I have to do lists scrawled on serviettes. Christian aid stuff to sort, dog stuff, insurance and of course work. I don't know how other people do it, am I missing something???

Stop the press, there was one call I made today that went better than I expected! The Christian aid week resources are nearly sorted. Didn't get round to insurance, tax credits and the like, but I have worked hard, sorted Sunday school games, and am now sitting down for a rest. I'm achy, sneezy and a bit headachy, a cold developing methinks. Wonder if it will stop me reading late again? I'm tearing through a Ben Elton book that I'm keen to shift out to the charity shop.

burning

Not sure why I got out of bed the wrong side ,maybe cos the heating has accidentally been on all morning again and I don't feel I have money to burn.
The sun is lovely. Here's hoping it burns off my grumpiness.

The other day I was nearly run over by an impatient driver. I was partway across a sidestreet when he swung round the corner at speed, beeping his horn at me for having the audacity to be in his way. It was my right of way, I believe the highway code states that if a pedestrian is already crossing the road they take precedence over the vehicle. I'm in the main a careful pedestrian and driver, telling others that there's no point being right but dead. So I'm usually cautious even when its my right of way.

The sun is still lovely. I'm still grumpy.

Sun was lovely on walk. Came home and got some gardening done. Sun gone down now. Not quite as grumpy as I was but still not as cheerful I could be. I stayed up late to finish my book last night, maybe that's it. I've only just ordered the next in the series so that will take a few days. The one I want to read is still 14 quid so that is still on hold, presumably it will come out in paperback.

list the things that make your spirit free

This was a suggested topic a while back in my writers group. I like writing lists, its easy writing :-)
as today I'm still feeling down in the dumps its an ideal time for me to revisit the list.

Singing, loudly, ideally in harmony
Dancing
Drumming
Hugging
Laughing
Playing games
Thinking
Trees, looking at them, touching the bark
The countryside
Immersion in a good novel
Cycling
Watching people blossom
Connecting
Simply being, not doing
Cloud watching
Spotting something to photograph and share
Colouring
Being cooked for (it frees my spirit as it otherwise gets bogged down in the choosing and making of a meal)

Sadly I have got the date wrong and there's no drumming today,  but will attempt others from the list. My jigsaw is coming along nicely...

Jigsaw finished. Chickened out of car buying for now, its over a third of my annual salary. Did several things from my list instead, including taking a pic to share with you.

the moon wants a scrap or a cuddle

I don't know if we will get round to actually looking at a real car this weekend. It would be good to move forward. I made myself laugh - never a bad thing - by imagining that a rev counter will tell me how many vicars I'm transporting. I also like it when they say the car has history, I picture there being a back story, rather than a sheaf of paperwork.

A sadly defining moment last night was when something was pushed through the letter box and the dog didn't notice - is his hearing beginning to go as he ages? After 6 years of incessant barking at every wandering leaf you think I'd be glad. Only it's a sign he's not what he used to be. And for the last couple of weeks we've not had a doorbell so actually if he no longer is going to notice visitors, my canine doorbell won't be effective and I don't want to miss anyone. Not even wandering leaves.

It's felt hard to shake off the feeling of failing on all fronts today. Glad it's nearly the weekend, I'm hoping there will be singing today and drumming tomorrow. And I think I'll crack open a jigsaw puzzle.

gender/sex matters?

Today is a beautiful sunny day. This morning I'll be in a different seaside town to the one I usually work in, but I don't think I'll get to see the sea today either - it's a rare day that I do, when a home visit requires me to travel along the (slow) prom to get there.

My random thinking of the day is about whether it would be possible to have a baby and not let on to anyone else the baby's sex. I may have discussed here before the impact such a revelation has. A friend told me how on the ward after delivery she heard a brand new baby girl be told off for farting as it was not ladylike. And I once noticed a bloke talking to my daughter in her pushchair and the tone was different to the way she was usually spoken to, and at the end he called her "son" and I realised he had thought her to be a boy, and so was speaking in a different tone. Incredible.

I once watched a really interesting programme on inter sex babies, where gentalia isn't initially determinable and so parents sometimes choose to  raise their child as one particular gender. How different would the world be if we didn't get seen as a certain way,. according to our bits, from the moment they are first visible,be it in or out of the womb.
Anyway, work.

misty

One of the advantages of being too-full-of-work-email-responses-to-sleep is that I am up early enough to enjoy the beautiful mist as the sun rises. I don't often get to witness that.

Big apologies to the 9 of you who tuned in to read a mere sentence of a blog. I never took to twitter cos I'm too verbose (well also cos I forgot my password/user name etc etc). Line long blogs just don't cut it really.

I don't recommend 5 am starts (other than getting to see a particular beauty I don't usually glimpse). I have fitted in lots of hours work but am somewhat tired in advance of my evening meeting. I am hoping that there will be many folk there willing to take the Christian Aid Week resources off my hands now I've divided them into mountains of bags currently blocking the front door. Means I don't get to choir AGAIN tonight, but will make singing on Friday all the more special.

Oscar the grouch

When the kids were younger, one of the books that got re-read and re-read was about Sesame Street's Oscar the grouch who lived in a trash can and had as his catch phrase "Go Away!"

For many a morning now, the first words to tumble through my head on awakening is, you've guessed it, "Go away!" I don't know if this is aimed at the morning that I don't want to encroach on my sleep, or a less than charitable call out to the inhabitants of the world. Either way it's not good and I want to shift it back to the "love you" that I managed to change my first thought to before. Mind over matter.

It's highly likely today that I will need to work until going to the dentist and so not getting back til about 6pm :(

people and places

One of the reasons I chose geography as my degree topic (other than having been so inspired by my amazing geography teachers) was because of my fascination with the relationships between people and places.

Over 20 years on, the world to me at least feels quite different. Our scope for community creation can be less rooted in particular places with the proliferation of the internet.
And yet our interactions with our immediate environs remains influential. Our access to services, our sense of connection with those around us, our privileges, resources and experiences defined so much by the country, region and home into which we are born.

Dislocation from our environment is increasingly possible, sealed in our cars or fast trains, our workspaces, leisure and shopping centres and so insulated from the changing weathers, smells, inhabitants. Eyes drawn to our mobile devices, our location could be irrelevant. I might physically occupy one place but my head and heart are elsewhere, conversing across the ether.

I love the interaction the internet has brought into my life. And yet I also have to work hard to resist its pull, in order to appreciate the right here, right now. I have to remind myself to go outside and place my hand on some grass. Not to be so caught up in catching up with my kids by text that I nearly bump into other folk going through the park. I remember to marvel at the clouds, the blossom, to wind down the window rather than put on the air con. To take off my shoes and really ground myself in where I am. To open my eyes and my heart to everything and everyone that is around me.

I wrote this yesterday in response to one of the prompts from my new writing circle :) I'm glad I did or else today's blog would have been very dull and samey. I'm tired and not yet inspired. I've calculated that my physical time for HUG last week (so not counting all the extra time that things take emotionally!!) was 36 hours so no wonder last week was a squeeze.

Did I mention I was tired? Christian Aid week stuff arrived today but I've not even opened the boxes yet.

sleep for a week

Its no surprise is it that I'm immensely tired. Fortunately today's tasks are not too many. I've not even made it up in time for church, but its ok, its been a deeply spiritual week.
I'm finding it really hard to stop planning work in the middle of the night. Its taking Herculean effort to keep willing the worries out of my mind, knowing that today is not the day for dealing with them, it can all wait til tomorrow. I've been lent a book on management skills and the first chapter I want to read is on coping with stress. But not today.
Today is a day to gently be. With a trip to Tesco. Its odd how bonding with my girly takes place over shopping, but I'll take what I get.

No work, but plenty of domesticity. And now to once more search for a car as that mot is looming. At least having already done a trawl I'm now familiar with with fsh and the like.

significant presence

I'm proud to be part of something where the ethos is not to charge people to attend, making it accessible to much more people. However, the downside is that, living in a culture where money often equals value, if we haven't paid for something, we're perhaps less likely to prioritise it. And so people readily book tickets as it's not cost them anything to do so, only then might not come, cos they've forgotten, or something else comes along. I suspect if we've paid £20 for a ticket we're less likely for that to be the case.
I also think people perhaps don't realise how significant their presence is. This for me is a general assessment of life, but in the HUG performance it's noticably true! As it's a one to one performance, if someone doesn't come that performer is without a huggee. Last night I got to hug myself and hold my arms wide to the whole room, so it wasn't wasted, but it's much better to have someone feeling the love directly :)
Of course there are always really good reasons why people can't make it at the last minute, I know that and hope the hug vibes reached those planning to come but then not able to make it. I also know there are people who would love to have come but because of distance, work, or other commitments, can't make it. And of course for lots of people, it's really Not Their Thing :)
I'm particularly pleased tho to discover a friend is now coming to the "friends and family" performance as I was feeling a bit like Billie-no-mates having not needed to request any tickets for anyone. Tho much of the joy comes from hugging strangers who don't ever get to see who we are :D
There are 5 performances today and I really hope every seat is filled. And to those of you not coming, here's a big HUG :D


Wow, just wow.
Feeling incredibly moved. And so privileged to have been part of something so intense.
Glad I have a quiet reflective hour alone before the kids return for their own hugs.

Still have the sounds reverberating in my ear. I hope they don't go, I don't want to ever forget the clashy harmonies. I feel strange, maybe what my friend would call a vulnerability hangover.

improv

Before even starting the HUG project, the bit I was most anxious about was the request to be able to improvise. Hugging strangers, no sweat. Learning a new part in a short space of time and holding it when next to others singing different parts, I was fine with that too. But improvisation is not something I've done before, you need talent and confidence for that. I hoped maybe they only needed a few folk to do it, and I would be able to get away with maintaining the set melody.
But no, there is an improv section and we all improvise at the same time in our own spaces. And interestingly it turns out to be one of the parts I like most (given that I love doing it all). I get to bathe my assigned human in my voice/love, singing directly to her/him (whilst obviously always keeping an eye on the conductor, rule number one). It's ace.
Only two performances tonight, maybe that's no bad thing, I'm knackered. Will be a rush straight from work. It's been a full week, did I mention that?

There's just no wriggle room!  Usually I can be flexible and keep working when there is still stuff to do,  going home when it's all done.  But not today,  I have to get to Preston for 4, having showered ready for the smell test,  grab myself something to eat for tea,  put out to dry those tops I sweated into yesterday...

incalculable

When asked to describe God I can only go as far as my imagination stretches, based on my limited understanding and experiences. And so I make God in my own image and my descriptions in no way extend to what God actually might be. In my imagination, God has a deep understanding of all we struggle with and loves us beyond measure, seeing just how amazing we are in the face of all we battle. The other day someone appreciated me for the way I see the best in people. And so maybe it's no surprise that my concept of God is a bigger version of how I want to be myself.

We're all so different, and so everyone's idea of God will be shaped accordingly. There are holy books and messengers that can impact upon the way we define God, but who is to say one is more correct than another?

I spotted a typo yesterday before I sent it, I was writing about finding my feet but actually wrote finding my feel. The latter may have been more true :) My wish for you today and always is that you find your feel.

And now I'm about to head to Manchester to do some feeling at an emotional and physical level :D

smell test

Another v stressful day so I'm going to have a quick bubble bath to help unwind but also get me ready for the smell test later (I'm not kidding). Hugging people means we need to smell good (or at least not smell foul). I have to wear a different top each performance. There are 4 performances Thursday in Manchester, two fri eve, and then 5 during the day on Saturday. That's more than I have appropriate tops!

choral sound bath

I was right, it is an incredibly full on week.
The people who attend the HUG performance are very lucky I think, tho maybe less so the person who sits on the chair I will have ascribed as my human, as so far I feel I've picked relatively easy -and so more dull- parts. I understand better now what is meant by being in an immersive choral sound bath - the depth and harmonies are very powerful.
There were tasty snacks too. So it's all going to be good.

Learned the hug moves tonight. My head is full. Feeling quite jealous of the audience members!!

intense

And so begins a very full week, work by day and a very full on schedule of rehearsals every eve and some afternoons. I suspect I'll see much less screen than I usually do. I shall be conducting most of my relationships via text (except for the new people I shall be hugging). It all will balance out.

Tonight's rehearsal as far as I'm aware involves just learning the singing aspect. Tomorrow we learn the hugging moves.

homer bowling ball

There are some presents, like the bowling ball Homer Simpson bought for Marge, with 'homer' emblazoned across it, that are not just purchased with the recipient in mind. When I bought these colourful wooden pieces, I knew I also would enjoy them. Last night my boy and I had some down time together and it was good.
Today they both leave for Dorset for a week, and I can't get to church as I want to see them off. It does leave the day free, and indeed means that I can HUG this week, had they been here that wouldn't have been possible.

Delayed start but relaxing afternoon walk by canal, relaxing mainly cos we left the dog at home (shhhh, don't tell him ). Curry and now a very full tummy.

rhythm is a dancer

Was good to dance can-can style to "Can't take my eyes off you" in choir last night :)
Today has rythms all of its own, hopefully not too rushed tho there is plenty packed in. I've (somewhat sadly) declined to be part of the happiness sprinkling in Manchester, knowing that I can't be in more than one place at once. I shall try and sprinkle happiness in my own way instead :)
Lovely to be with lovely people who make the world a better place simply by being themselves. A couple of karaoke songs tonight has me realise what else I want to add to my list of things to make - a list of songs I  would be happy to sing should I go again!!

New

New job starts today officially. I was really touched that a friend in my Gospel choir remembered and gave me this gift to place in my new work location. That location is likely to be varied, so today I have it at home, but on different days will be in different places. Will I take my love with me? Metaphorically I certainly will, but it would also be nice to have it at one of my bases - over the next few days I will keep my eye out as to where to place my love (everywhere???)
And two of my old jobs haven't finished (and need working on today too). I slept a bit better last night, possibly thanks to reading my novel last thing. I saw a stat (no idea if it's evidence based) that said even just 6 minutes of reading lowers stress by 68%. 6 minutes feels doable. Here's hoping we all find easily achievable things that have us live happily :)