life is in the struggle?

I was talking with a friend yesterday who described herself as feeling "pants". I checked and she didn't mean the sumptuous silky kind, but the worn ones which despite repeated washing still bear skid marks. And this morning I have read this from Pip Wilson, and think it is important. I think for me it makes the fact that there is struggle, a bit easier, that the struggle isn't in vain, or even to be rushed through. And that all I can do is be alongside others as they struggle too. I often wish I had speedy scissors, or a magic wand, but I don't and despite wanting my loved ones to be happy RIGHT NOW as it can feel unbearable when they are not, all I can do is be there cheering them through the struggle (not that it's either that simple or bearable either). And of course they can't use scissors or wands either for me when I struggle, but they are there and that is enough.

I want to be whole

No I don't

To be perfect.........

Is ..........

Not to be

Not to happen.

Reminds me of the story

a man saw the butterfly struggle

as it tried to break out of it's chrysalis

so, with small scissors,

he cut through the binding, locking, gripping chrysalis

and the butterfly struggled free.

Then it flopped

fell over

could not move it's wings

weak, never to fly.

The very act in the struggle

it to gain strength.

The worst times in my life

I fear them even now

yet looking back,

they were the greatest in terms of 

living

learning

strength

wisdom

sensitivity

self awareness

life .............

I don't want to be whole.

I want to journey in that direction

I want to be BECOMING

I am BECOMING ..........

I want to shout

I want to sing

I am free

I am free

I am free indeed.