A friend shared a fab Betty White quote on facebook, that got me thinking about another phrase that's always annoyed me, the exhortation to "grow a pair". I almost can't be bothered to describe just how much is wrong with this (I should also maybe point out that this blog has various words that some might find explicit). It is rooted of course not just in sexism (we can be improved upon by having testicles) but also those 3 short words belittle so many people. It mainly is an attack on men and their "manliness" that they must be lacking in the trouser department if they are not displaying what is deemed as particularly "manly" attributes, usually courage, and when I've heard this phrase, it's often foolhardy courage. (Is that tautological? Do you know what I mean - a kind of bravado, it's again fits with the outrageous notion that our men are more expendable, so ought to be high risk takers. Shudder.)
I know many courageous men and women, it doesn't appear to be connected to our testosterone levels or genitalia. What I loved about the Betty White quote is her pointing out just how nonsensical the phrase is. She says
"why do people say 'grow some balls'? Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough grow a vagina. Those things can really take some pounding" Betty White
Childbirth can be a time of great courage. And what irony that in our phallocentric culture, it is one of men's most tender physical spots. So are we celebrating tenderness?? Fundamentally what annoys me most is why any of us would be defined by bits on our body.
I'm aware I might be coming across as grumpy in these recent blogs - this is a venting place for me so I do thrash out ideas here. I'm actually feeling surprisingly content at the moment tho. I'm getting to do lots of supporting and that is when I feel most like I have my place in the world and am being who I'm meant to be.
Peace brothers/sisters/those not defined by such labels.
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