redeeming my hour

I seem to have wasted my "extra hour" by lying in bed worrying about money and my main job contract running out in March and about going to prison cos I can't remember my solicitor asking me about something. So i've got up and emailed my solicitor, which just to get her to check will then cost me the money I was worrying about spending on a bed for my girly. Sigh.

Fortunately as you may remember from a previous post on the additional hour we get at this time of year, I spend the day using it over and over. So I will try and go back to bed, get some more sleep and use it on something much more lovely later. I think maybe a film from under the duvet with the kids.

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I have spent much more time than usual this week tripping up over what I have been classifying as evidence of my failure. I KNOW this is just a way of seeing. I do know that I can change my perspective. So when all the carrier bags tumble out on me when I open the cupboard door, instead of thinking 'and here's another thing I can't keep tidy' I simply change it to 'I do care passionately about the environment and take my responsibility seriously' or something. Similarly rather than beat myself up that I've still not made optician appointments for the kids, I could focus on the fact that I cut my son's hair yesterday and paid for my girly for the first time to have a proper hairdresser session. I do know I'm doing my best, as we all are. I just need to keep telling myself loudly over the doubts that try and tell me otherwise. They are wrong and I won't let them win.

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Feeling better for some snuggle time on the sofa with - shock horror - my choice of film. I picked One of Our Dinosaurs is missing and kept my fingers crossed that just cos I'd enjoyed it as a child it wouldn't be too unwatchable for the kids used to a different quality of film. As it was, the racism had me cringe, but we all had a giggle at the moving dinosaur and I now can't get the music out of my head. Redemption is possible :)