no must about it

I've always found the word 'must' dangerous. I realise I use it myself, sometimes even when trying to be empathetic, hopefully my tone helps when I say 'that must be hard'. I'm going to try to figure better phrases tho as I simply don't like the word. I don't think there should be any must about anything.
Being a preacher is a tricky job. I sincerely thanked ours this morning cos I was very pleased to hear her speak of illegal immigrants in a refreshingly positive way. Not looking down but showing we can learn from those who have such hope. I explained I struggled more with the rest of her sermon - I think the church has a difficult role in both offering hope without suggesting that those who don't feel hope are somehow failing. To say Christians must be optimists, must be filled with hope, runs the risk - I think - of further ostracizing those feeling depressed, or currently unable to connect with hope.
I believe telling someone how they must feel ventures into chocolate teapot territory. We feel how we feel. At times we have more control over how we respond to those feelings, tho depression can take away our control. And the way we respond doesn't make us any better than anyone else either. The church has a tricky path there too.
Much more I could write but not now, as my response to my feelings today is to go and look for autumnal trees in the beautiful sun.