eating burnt toast

I read something interesting an age ago that stuck with me. How as mothers (this may apply to others, it's not meant as a generalisation) when dishing up food, we tend to give ourselves the burned bits and give our kids the nicer looking parts. This is definitely true for me. But the article asked what message this gives both our daughters and sons, about who "deserves" the best, who deserves the crappy bits? Of course, the best response is not to burn the food in the first place, but actually there's something important in sharing the best and the worst. Putting others first is good, but if I always put first, does that mean I'm modelling that it's ok for mums to always have the rough deal? How does that prepare my son and my daughter for their future relationships (of any gender)?
I spent some of yesterday reflecting on where and why I deny myself loveliness. I'd had a small bit of smoothie - I like smoothie, but I feel as if I buy it as a treat for the children and so don't tend to have it myself. And in the spirit of trying to include myself in the loveliness, when I made banana milkshake later, I poured three rather than the usual 2 glasses. We will see if the bank breaks - I suspect not. So why am I reluctant to partake of loveliness? Do I feel I don't deserve it? I tried to do more of some of what I like yesterday. I spoke to two friends on the phone, and I ate icecream. But I'm still not quite in tune with what I want to be doing. Let's see what today brings.