My kids are coming back today and yesterday, once they reached English waters, I started texts that told them I loved them and had missed them :) it's been odd not having been in communication with them for a whole week, and I felt I needed a balance of wanting to let them know I love them and have missed them, but yet noticing feeling a need for restraint from how I'd really like to bombard them. How very sad. When they were new I did wonder if it was possible to kiss a baby too much. I concluded it wasn't. More than pretty much anything else, I wanted my children to know that I loved them totally and was completely delighted by them. I still want that now. So what's changed?
I've learned that parental affection can be embarrasing. I don't know if babies feel embarrasment and just can't tell us. Or if they don't care what others think.
I'm not immune, I know I sometimes struggle when lavished with affection - we can squirm from the attention and worry about how others will feel about it instead of basking in just how great it is to be loved and missed. I might want to live in a world where everyone hugs and holds hands 24/7 and shows complete delight and never misses an opportunity to say I love you. Only sometimes that's just awkward.
I checked in with someone the other day that I'd not been too zealous in my loving, that he wasn't intimidated by my public declaration of love for him as my friend. He beautifully came back with "- let me think, too much love, erm, nope, that's not possible." I'm glad to have friends who love me so well and are happy to be loved by me. I'm also glad to have those friends who have hang ups about that kind of thing - cos that's how we are, all different, all with our different foibles, and that includes me.
But today is a day of reunion and I'm hoping I can have my heart on my sleeve and a grin on my face as I welcome back into my arms two of my dearest loves. Hope you also get to shower your loved ones with affection <3
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