little doubts

I know I've blogged lots on this but I keep needing to work away at it.
I suspect many of us share similar struggles with self doubt. In a society of relationship breakdown (and I don't just mean marriage, but also friends falling out or moving away) and job insecurity, and just being part of a human race where we have hurts and people we love die, I think lots of us feel loss and wonder if it's our fault somehow. I think many of us are struggling to believe and fully know just how much we matter. There is a tendril of insecurity - are we actually easily replaceable?
We do a lot to try and prove the contrary to ourselves - I must matter because I earn this much, I matter and so I will buy this for myself as a treat, I matter because look how many people I have helped this week. This isn't to be judgemental - they are strategies that can keep us going. Tho I am keen to keep developing other strategies whereby I don't have to continually prove my worth.
My heart is much more open when I remember that lots of us are struggling with these kind of thoughts and so that's why people sometimes act like they do. Instead of  these doubts pitting us against each other in competition to prove our value, knowing that we are both fighting similar concerns can be liberating. And that maybe all I need to do is go around showing myself - and every other person that I meet - that we matter. That we are unique. That I know how debilitating the doubts can be and so show kindness to others as well as myself.
So I feel in a much better place now having reminding myself of that. Got to go buy a birthday present now tho for tonight's party - will be on the lookout for opportunities to blow away all those unnecessary doubts. Grateful for all those lovelies who help bring mine back down to size too :)