There was a carrier bag at the bottom of my washbasket - I'm not sure how long it has been there, but it has disintegrated into tiny pieces - I presume it is biodegrading.
It's been a trying few days and I feel a bit shredded myself. I was pleased that I was able to discuss my thoughts and feelings at length in our book group meeting and didn't get at all upset. We had one interesting discussion about seeing people in a different light once we we're dead and could see things from their perspective. I wonder if that does indeed happen? I suspect once were gone we no longer will care about the things that cause us anxieties now.
An important aspect of my belief is that I think God sees my every flawed attempt at living and loving and is pleased. I try really hard to do this with others, I don't always manage it, but it's my intention. I can find it hard - and unjust - when people don't think the best of other people (including myself!!) so draw comfort from the thought that maybe one day people will get that realisation - ahhh they were doing their best in that moment, I never realised they were trying to juggle this, that and the other (these might be feelings, pain, circumstances). And of course I have no real idea what other people are up against, maybe I'll one day get better clarity as to why someone was choosing to say or do something that I found hurtful/unjust. For now all I can do is keep assuming that there are reasons why people act as they do, and as I have no idea of the concerns they are carrying (unless they want to unload a bit of them with me - some do, some don't), keep trusting that they too are doing their lovely best. There is so much potential for misunderstanding each other as the glimpses we get into other people's realities is so brief - but we can try our best :)
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