I like singing. I find it tricky to sing whilst playing the bongos. I told a friend I was about to go and play and how nervous I was and she suggested I mime. When you're the only person playing an instrument, miming isn't an option. I think what I dislike is the thought that people think I've put myself forward to do it and so must feel I'm good at it, when I don't feel I'm good at it. I guess it's that fear of being judged and found wanting, again. And the belief that there must be plenty of others in the room who could do it so much better. That can really stop us in our tracks, can't it, when actually, if we are the one who has put ourselves forward, then at that moment, we are the right one to be doing it.
At a party last night, one woman told me how she the main thing she'd remembered from the previous year's party was us singing Sloop John B together. People enjoy when we make an effort to come together, and certainly at the wedding, so many people were appreciative of our efforts.
I still find weddings incredibly difficult and wonder why I put myself through the agony. I'm still upset today by it, so still have plenty of healing to be done there! But the cake after was fab. I'm happy to sing at weddings for quality cake.
My miming suggestion friend is coming over this afternoon so I need to spend today trying to make the house and garden less hazardous to children...
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