Somedays it's hard to feel the love - I don't know why - I guess I get caught up in the doubts, the harshness, and it's hard to remember or notice just how much I'm loved. It all feels lonely and desperate.
Then other days I wake up and it's like I'm tangibly aware of it - like I said this morning it's as if my hand is being held by a friend, and I'm able to really soak it up, carry it with me and then radiate it.
A few weeks ago a lovely friend sent me a text that simply said "love you!" and I was so touched by her thinking of me and sending it. So today, in my loved up place, I sent the same back to her. And to a few other of my (female heterosexual) friends. It feels unhelpful to send it to my male friends for fear of it being misinterpreted, which is sad but I want to spread love not discord so it's not worth upsetting wives or girlfriends. I wonder if there will be mobiles in heaven and I will be able to text _everyone_ that I love them - or if I won't need to 'cos everyone will already know?
I really like the days when I'm in touch with how loved up I am. Not only 'cos it feels so warm, but 'cos I am in a much better place then to spread the love, which I really really really like doing. When my dome/spine/boots are filled with love, it spills over and my patience is greater, my listening better, and I'm more likely to be courageous/spontaneous. It is what makes the world go round, it is contagious: you give a little love and you get a little love of your own.
"so go answer your calling; go and fill somebody's cup... we are each other's angels... we keep each other going"
Thankyou for those times you have kept others going and filled their cup. I hope yours runneth over too.
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