At the time it's almost impossible to remember how brilliant it is, cos it feels so excruciatingly hard. But when someone who loves and trusts you so much works their stuff through with you, it is an honour. I try and say over and over "there's nothing more important than this" cos it's true. There is nothing more important than the relationships we have and working through the tough stuff. When you're in it tho, it's grim - the hopelessness that we'll never get through it can feel overwhelming. The amount of patience it seems to require - way more than I actually have. I am not perfect and usually join in with the moaning that it's not fair - and that's OK - I'm not a counsellor in these situations - I can do my best and it has to be enough, even when it involves me getting frustrated. Interestingly those I love say it's ok for me to show my frustrations too - they don't expect me to just take all their anger and hurt and absorb it without showing how hard I can find that.
I'm glad not everyone chooses me to work their stuff out with me in this way cos it's intense. But when we get to a place where we've moved forwards, it is such a worthwhile feeling.
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