real choices

My girly didn't want to come to church with me this morning and I wasn't going to make her. Like every relationship, parenting is a series of ongoing compromising. Sometimes she simply has to come with me to things and if I'm in a good place I can listen to her frustrations if she doesn't want to. But we're entering a new phase where increasingly she really doesn't _have_ to come with me to some things. This morning was one such time. She really wanted some time alone to finish an arty crafty project she began yesterday. I really wanted her to come with me cos I wanted us to have more time together, but could see that it would be OK if she didn't (if I'm leading things at night, or a distance, then she will still - for now -  have to accompany me). I was trying to figure what approach I wanted to take. I sometimes do ask myself "what would Jesus do?" - not cos there is a definitive answer but it can help me think more clearly about the sort of thing I might like to try. I'm of the view that we are loved  just as much by God whether we attend church or not. I am glad that I go to church even on the days I don't feel like it because I think it's important to be part of a community even on our off days. I might chat with my girly about that at some point, but to do that this morning would have come across as emotional blackmail, and it's my opinion and she will have her own.

Life's lessons of the moment definitely seem to be around not taking it personally when people choose their own path that doesn't involve spending time with me. It's a tough one for me cos whilst I want people to get things right for themselves, I both like spending time with those I love, and am aware I have a big button that can get pressed about not being wanted. It's important for me to notice when the button is being pressed as I have no wish to make people feel guilty about their choices, or lean on them to make the "choice" _I_ want them to make. I do think it's best for everyone if I can achieve this, but boy it's hard!!
How do you hold just lightly and freely those that mean so much to you, when all you really want to do is hold them very very tightly for ever and ever and not let them out of your sight/arms at all?? My daughter's independence has rocketed in the few weeks since she started high school, and I'm trying to keep up with my own adjusting.

I have concluded that what I want in my relationships is what I see in God: I love you, I love being with you, and it's entirely up to you if you wanna come play out or need your own space - I'm still here whenever you want to be with me.