We all seem quite different. I'm sure fear hits us differently. And we handle it in our own ways. Some bury it deep down. Some manage not to give it any credence and keep it bay that way. Others take a really good look at it in all its enormity and feel everything that it brings up and weep buckets. No prizes for guessing which category I am in. I wonder why we differ - there will be many other ways too that I've not thought of. Is it how we are brought up? Do we see the ways others around us deal with fear and emulate it or cast around for alternatives depending how we see it going?
Being such a control freak I guess I like to take charge of my fear, bringing it out into the open and getting a good grasp of the scale of it so I know better how to tackle it. Have a bit of a joke with it even. That's not everyone's bag tho, I know. Whatever you might be afraid of at the moment, here's a big bunch of love for however you are handling it.
Since Paul was killed I have felt keenly powerless over death. At the moment I'm acutely aware that I have no control over illness, I can't stop bombs going off in the city where my friends live, and have no influence over exam results that I've not taken myself. It's not a good time to be a control freak - I know I just need to keep letting go of that desire to be in charge, to go with the flow of all that comes next.
No comments:
Post a Comment