There's a friend at choir who shares a mutual concern and so the times I see him I spend maybe two minutes giving an update. He listens well, gives an encouraging hug, and just the act of sharing leaves me feeling lots better. (It's also one of the reasons I blog. Its good to know others are aware of some of what is going on for me rather than keeping it to myself). Last night he commented that I was in good spirits despite a terrible week and I replied that I was feeling good and have had far worse weeks. This got me reflecting, as it's true, a bereavement and facing redundancy are two major life stressors so I could have been feeling much worse. Many people this week have asked me how I'm doing and I've genuinely replied that I'm doing well. Of course I'm grieving for my grandma, and I am anxious about work, but they are not the overriding feelings. The weeks I have felt worse have been those when I have been overwhelmed with isolation. This week I have not felt on my own. I've made lots of contact with both family and friends.
Were all very different and so other tactics will work for you that wouldn't for me. But its really useful for me to notice just how key it is for me to be in contact with people. Hope you get to do whatever is useful for you when times are tough.
A friend has just posted a clip - you'll have to imagine it - a child clinging to a horizontal bar in some water, terrified they are about to drown, when along comes someone who helps them put their feet on the floor which is actually right there below. Sometimes it really feels like we cannot possibly cope and all it needs is someone who cares to remind us that we will not be overwhelmed and that we can stand up and it will be ok. I'm grateful for the people in my life who do that for me - I have many, and sometimes get to see that others aren't so lucky and have fewer folk that do that with them.
It will be ok.
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