still there anyway

I really enjoyed tonight's gathering (not quite a service, I'm not really sure how to bill it here - there was singing, a story, but also shed loads of food and quizzes and karaoke). We sang well, and it was a lot more sociable than I had anticipated which I enjoyed immensely. It reminds me how I went on a weekend once that I was expecting to involve intense sessions, and the leader pointed out that just being with each other, hanging out, was the most important "work" we could do. What a fab leader. And so it is, imho, with church - it's the hanging out that's the important bit for me. The sharing, the stories, the sticking out of tongues, the crumbs on the floor, the new people met, the old people hugged. I'm not really a "praise" kind of girl - I personally feel I worship God in the being, when I get to be, and when I get to be around and with others. Yes, I like to sing and can see/feel the praise in that, but it's always been the fellowship I prefer (if not the word itself).
Carols were interlaced around a story from Tolstoy, which I liked tho it felt a tad predictable to my cynical mind. The old man met with Jesus every time he showed compassion to anyone who came along, even tho they didn't look like the Jesus figure he was expecting. I'd quite like to do a re-write. The poor mother and barefoot infant come along, and the shoemaker would like to help, and he recalls the shoes he has kept on the dusty shelf. He gets them down and mum, babe and carpenter are all hopeful. Only they're too small, and the carpenter feels inadequate, the mum disappointed, and the child still cold. But God is still there anyway, in the disappointment, the bitterness, the failed attempts at helping. I don't really believe in the "if you just have faith God will make it all ok" cos that's not the way it seems to work. People still die, people still get hurt, experience abuse and injustice, and God doesn't stop it and make it all OK. What I do believe in, is a God that is still there when it's not ok. And that there are people who care about other people, working hard to challenge the injustice and abuse, tend to the dying, listen to the hurt, and that God is there too.
More singing tomorrow. I'm a lucky girl :)