My girly is sad and I'm not with her - that's v hard for the both of us. She wasn't able to talk to me last night about it and won't be able to do so til later. I've suggested that meanwhile she could talk to me in her head, or talk to God in her head, but I do know it's not the same as talking to someone who can hug you at the same time.
My littlest has turned 9 this morning and his presents and cards are unopened at the bottom of my bed, til he comes back at 2pm. Sometimes things feel just wrong.
Still, it's just a delay of a morning and I'll try and get loads of work done, and then we shall be together for over a week and will probably drive each other to distraction!
Last night I had just a few sweetpeas to give away and didn't have an opportunity til I got to where we rehearse so gave them to the guy on the desk. That felt all wrong too as I could see he wasn't sure what my intention was. I don't like this feeling of wrongness, this disconnection with people. Maybe I need a holiday ;)
Well I had a 6 min counselling call that was just long enough to have an "it's not fair" big cry, and I'm back to being better able to see the good in everyone. It really isn't fair but it's how it is and I just have to keep trying to keep on loving as best I can. Kids are running late but not long now til celebrating - that's all I want really, to keep celebrating...
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