not giving up

I saw this quote this morning:
Take care of your thoughts when you are alone and take care of your words when you're with people.

I've made some monumental muck ups with my words recently. But it's just conceivable that the thing the unfortunate recipient of my words mosts needs to know is that it's possible to forgive ourselves when we mess up big time, so if I can model that then good will come out of it. This reframing is important. The damage caused by hurtful words can't be taken back - just like the damage of harmful thoughts about ourselves has an ongoing impact. But we don't have to leave it there. I'm aware that the words I said will stay in both mine and the hearer's words for a long time, and that there will be occasions when I'm reminded of it by her - that's what happens with unhealed hurts and seemingly circular arguments. So next time she feels let down by me again, I know it will be brought up and I will have to keep working in the meantime on my feelings of guilt/regret so that I can keep hearing how disappointed she is without sinking myself. So that's the taking care of my own thoughts part. If I don't keep remembering I'm doing my imperfect best, I won't be able to bear her disappointment.

We sang an old Fischy song over the weekend, on how even when we mess it up and think "this is the end", Jesus never gives up and says "I'll be your friend". Sometimes it's tempting to think we've blown it this time, the situation is irredeemable. But whilst of course we always have the choice to walk away, we also too have the choice to not give up on others or ourselves. I shall today be not giving up :)