My stages of parenting

I've been reflecting on how I've found parenting through the different ages and stages, how much there has been to delight in, and how the challenges mutate. I'm sure we all experience it very differently but this for me has been some of my journey.

Babyhood is such a precious and brief period tho had times when it felt it would never end (especially in the middle of the night). I loved the intimacy, the connection of constantly holding, feeding, showing off this new amazing being. My world shrank which was wonderful, my confidence did too, which was not. The tiredness was unbelievable, and having to go back to work at 3 months hard to fathom now looking back ( so much better second time round when I could focus just on the mothering without juggling work too).

Toddlerhood I found more testing, unable to turn away for even a second. Impressive energy levels ( them not me) meant there never seemed any let up. Such an exciting time tho with every new word and skill, it was brilliant to see them develop at such a fast pace. Still so tactile, I enjoyed the physicality, being clambered on, being their base to return to, the snuggles, very clearly theirs. And feeling more competent in this new world of parenting, a big bonus was the new friendships forged, the support gained and the fun times shared. 

Pre school I also loved. A time of such discovery and creativity. Art work in abundance, and an unlimited array of fabulous questions. "If a person gives someone else AIDS does that mean they don't have it anymore?" (asked in the changing rooms at swimming after hearing a news headline) "Why did God make fleas?" (A health visitor helped me with that by suggesting the grooming out of fleas maybe helped early homosapiens to bond). "What's the point of the queen?" (I directed that to a godparent so that an alternative perspective was given in addition to my non royalist response).

Primary school age for me meant positives and negatives around the same aspect. I had some time to Get Things Done ( like paid work again) and relished some time when someone else was responsible for them. And yet I was also no longer their entire world and they were doing things I would never know about.

Secondary school is an extended version of the previous paragraph, I now have much more time for work and my own existence and their lives are even more separate from mine. I like how I'm not needed much, except at very specific urgent moments (unlocatable school tie seconds before leaving the house). I'm immensely proud of the people they are. Teenagers get a bad press, i'm mainly very fond of mine, tho am aware we operate in different time zones and sometimes have different priorities. There have been tumultuous times when we've struggled to work things out, so there can be intense moments but a lot more down time in between than any other period of parenting so far. And all kinds of occasional rewards like a delicious homemade cottage pie or someone to send out to the shop for whatever essential we're lacking.

I wonder what will be next. So far it's been a fascinating experience, all consuming, occasionally overwhelming, with a heady mix of fierce love, doubt, deep satisfaction, total despair, insufficient sleep and a massive sense of privilege to be entrusted with the care of such incredible humans :-)