the heat is on

Siberian weather means I can legitimately put on the heating. So it's on. There's a pot of bean soup for if anyone wants a warm snack. The snow laden clouds seem to have disappeared so I guess the chances of getting snowed in are not very high. I was most concerned about the reported potential impact to mobile signal - how do I communicate if there's no internet or mobile? Would be rather nice tho just to make a den out of my duvet and stay put for the next few days til it's all blown over. A good escapist novel, a couple of environmental disaster movies, some hot chocolate and good company and I'd be quite happy :) Let me know when it's ok to come out again :D

3 tips on handling change

I watched a minute long video from "happier" on handling change that gave 3 tips. Firstly to acknowledge whatever we are feeling. I am feeling so many emotions at the moment. Change is scary, uncertainty is scary. Loss is difficult. So I can do that first one in abundance :-P I'm very grateful for having a laugh after a cry with such a lovely friend that I rang for a pep talk. It's hard to keep asking for pep talks tho.
I'm finding the second tip harder, this involves finding something about the change we can feel grateful for. The best I can come up with so far is that it focuses my mind on what is important to me.
The third tip is another goodie. About looking for opportunities to be kind. I am pretty good at that. I've spotted and taken opportunities :-D

So I will keep working on the middle one. What are your top tips for handling unwanted change?

Colourfields

We've now visited 3 of the 4 panopticons, and whilst I've enjoyed the other 2, today's in Blackburn corporation park was a bit underwhelming. Entitled colourfelds, the colours have faded, and the views were less my thing than those from the rural panopticons. The trip was not in vain tho, I enjoyed the park itself

and was excited by the miniature roadway and signs - I'd have loved to have taken the kids and the bikes when they were little.
It is a glorious day, so good to get air into my lungs :-)

One body

I'm not going to get a new body so really need to look after this one. I feel I look after my mental and emotional health a bit better with my weekly counselling sessions. I look after some aspects of my physical  health, I do consider what I eat and avoid putting some things into my body. I care about my sleep. However I'm reluctant to spend money on myself and want to try treating myself better when I need it.  I finally got around to a massage tonight, which was far from relaxing as I had so much locked in tension it was painful to release it. The process and attention was much needed and I feel so much better now. I love her holistic approach and am determined i won't allow my body to get so tightly wound before I go again.

#RAKWEEK2018

As you may know, I'm pretty rubbish at buying presents for people at expected times like birthdays or Christmas. But giving at unexpected times, that I love! It's random acts of kindness week, and whilst I don't need a set week, it's always good to be prompted. I've done various things so far, such as the mundane but quick to do picking up of someone else's dog poo. My favourite tho was thanks to a fortuitous offer at my local supermarket. I'd gone looking for cut price daffs as I often do for springtime sharing. Top tip for all future years tho is to seek post Valentine's day bargains. These beauties were down to just 30p each. They had 88 of them but I could only carry 8 at a time even when I nabbed a cardboard box. I might go back tomorrow to see if they have any left as I only managed 2 trips (then a final one for some actual shopping). I get such a buzz from this kind of thing and really encourage you to give something similar a go! I only had 2 refusals, one couple explained they were on a long walk so didn't want to carry it. The other person maybe found it a bit too random. I did remove all the tags calling them Valentine gifts, I didn't want to provoke any jealousy, I'm just trying to spread a bit of love not cause friction. The highlight for me was the repeated questioning of a mum by her young daughter, "yes, but why?" I'm really hoping that the possibility of being kind to strangers sticks with her :-)

Clap along

I need to dance more often so that I don't then ache the day after. I wonder if it was all the vigorous clapping. Although I frequently clap vigorously. I had such a good evening last night at my choir "Christmas" do, lots of my favourite things like food and singing. It was a tad chilly on the way home, the car window has been jammed in a semi open position for several days now.
Insufficient sleep 3 nights in a row means I can barely think straight right now but I wanted to briefly blog rather than wait til coherence returns. Hope you too are doing lots of whatever makes you happy :-)

Gale chimes

When we moved into this house nearly 18 years ago, it had an amazing doorbell with gorgeous real chimes. When the mechanism broke a few years in, I tried hard to fix it without luck but didnt want to part with the pipes so hung them from a tree in the garden. They are heavy, so only sound when the wind is strong, like last night. Rather than tinkling wind chimes they are more a clang to warn of strong wind, and to me evoke a ship's warning bell. Last night's gale came as a surprise as I'd not heard any forecasts recently and I'm always on heightened alert when it's very windy, because of the tall tree opposite my bedroom window. Maybe it's no wonder I then had dreams of storm surges?!

This morning all is calm again. I need to keep trusting that the right job will materialize at the right time ( I get quite down each time I search). That the dentist will sort my tooth (temporary filling lasted 4 days, I wasn't even eating off that side, it was when I was cleaning my teeth). And stay grateful for just how lucky I am that my Saturday evenings can involve singing and smiles, cake and canapes. Last night's gig was brilliant :-D

subjective satisfaction surveys

I'm not sure of the purpose or validity of satisfaction surveys. Surely, like everything, satisfaction is in the eye of the beholder? Far from being proof of any external value, all that is being tested is what sort of satisfaction levels the people you have asked are willing to believe in.

So for example say I go to an NHS appointment with a 30 minute delay. Afterwards I might fill in a survey as to how satisfied I am. Being me, the chances are I would be very satisfied - my attitude towards the NHS is one of profound gratitude that I am able to access a service that is free at the point of use, where well qualified, conscientious people care about my health and do their utmost to help me. Holding the view as I do, that everyone is doing the best that they can, I'm likely to trust that the situation is as good as it can be and I hopefully will have enjoyed my extra time there with opportunities to chat to others or read a book or some other such delight. Of course it's completely possible that I might have been struggling that day, maybe with an impossible deadline, or with overwhelming fears about the reason I was there, or maybe the rain had put me in a less generous mood - and so I might feel less satisfied, but that wouldn't be the fault of those providing the service, it would only reflect on my attitude.

The person next to me might have the same delay and see the same person for treatment, but they might have a different expectation and have a fraught encounter instead. They might feel they don't have half an hour to spare in their jam packed day. I'm aware we all have differing levels of "entitlement" as to how we should be treated - they might think a 30 minute delay is unacceptable and give a very low rating - but the service was actually very similar to mine yet the satisfaction is markedly different due to differing expectations.

For me it all comes back to how we can't control what is going on around us, how heavy the traffic is, how delayed an appointment is, how rainy the weather is, how grumpy the person next to us is. Yet we can very much influence our response to it.
So how satisfied are you right now?
I have to say despite some challenges, I am of course very satisfied indeed :D

Short car journeys

I have been thinking today about one of the commitments I made so long ago that I can't remember when I made it. I decided that I would not use my car for a short journey unless I felt it was absolutely necessary. This is sometimes not understood by the people I try and explain it to. That if I am passing near a place anyway that to stop doesn't make an environmental difference. As I understand it, it's to do with the cold engine. So even if I am passing, if I then stop off and do something the engine cools and then the next short journey home then creates twice as much carbon.

Like every commitment I think it is a great idea to review it from time to time to check it still is a commitment that makes sense. Just because we decided on something at a point in time doesn't necessarily mean that it is still right for us. 

I'm aware car technology has improved, so maybe it's it no longer such a big deal. Perhaps that depends on your car. I enjoyed finding this article and for now am happy that my commitment makes sense for me :-) 

https://walkit.com/going-green/#nogo

what are your unacknowledged commitments and do they still make sense for you?

snow pretty

As a child growing up in Staffordshire, we had plenty of snow each winter, and sometimes days off school :) On the Fylde coast snow is a rare thing. I love snow, it's so pretty, to me it's magical and I'm still a big kid, excitedly proclaiming "look it's snowed!" when I first spot it out of the window.
I'm less keen on driving on top of snow so am monitoring it (fat flakes still falling) as I was considering driving part of my way to Leeds later but am now thinking to leave the car safely on the drive even though it means it will be midnight before I'm back.
I hope you are enjoying whatever weather you have got :)

Heavy

My parents often said I was heavy on shoes, getting through them faster than they would like.  I also feel I'm heavy on my teeth. Last week I cracked a tooth and today the dentist had to break the loose piece off. I've had a temporary filling. I wonder if i will be able to keep it in for the 3 weeks until they rebuild it? I've already  had a weekend of porridge and soup, I'm planning on going very gently.
One of the highlights of the year so far was the amazing chocolate orange rice pudding in leeds  Im going to attempt to replicate it tonight. Comfort food for what has been a difficult day, the sort where the doorbell falls off the door and that tricky light above the stairs goes.
I'm pleased to day the rice pudding tastes amazing. Here's hoping the day can turn around and end well.

Fingers crossed

My car wouldn't start on Saturday and I am really really hoping the mended electric key will arrive tomorrow and that it will start. The timing and location of it not starting could have been much worse. And I have felt incredibly grateful that I have been able to borrow my boyfriend 's car this week. I'm trying to not worry about what next, but might have to consider a new plan tomorrow.

Fingers crossed!