I love weddings. There's so much about them to delight in. The love, the joy, the food, singing, dancing, sharing, meeting strangers and catching up with people not seen in a while or that you already know but having a chance to get to know them better. The way families and friends grab the opportunity to show how much the couple mean to them, the creation of a new supportive community, the promises of staying in even when it gets tough. It's brilliant, I've been to many and each one has been a varied expression of how to celebrate and I've loved every one.
I also find them tough. I never intended to end up alone and it's really hard not to dwell on feelings of having failed, and on what I don't have.
The trick of course is instead to focus on what I do have. Friends who check that I got home safely. A group of people to dance with and be silly with. And maybe the impetus to follow my dream. If I was getting enough cuddles in my own life, maybe I wouldn't notice how important they are. I can use this experience to decide what I want to do about it. It still might not be the right time for my hug hub, but I think it's time I reviewed the possibility at least.
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