excruciating

I think it's probably not just me who feels this way about themselves. But sometimes I find being me excruciating.
Last night when I was supposed to be going to sleep my brain continually fed me an unending flow of all the ways I am failing. It was really really hard to try and interrupt it. In the end I managed to quieten it by using the technique of asking what I would say to me if I was a friend who came saying this is all I could hear. Sometimes it's not easy being a friend to yourself. Today I'm going to try tho. I'm taking myself singing tonight cos I know that's good for my soul. And I will keep trying to focus on where I can see I'm doing well instead of being pulled back to where I can see I'm not.