better than expected

I didn't want to get out of bed this morning, I was feeling cold and miserable and thought the weather was the same. It is cold, but the sun is out. This is a relief as staying in bed wouldn't get the house ready for the teenage onslaught this afternoon. We're taking lots of folks to a trampolining centre before the sleepover after, I'm wondering if the 'wear them out and they'll sleep ' strategy used on toddlers and dogs will have any success at all. There is a cake - photo later - the first cake my boyfriend has ever made in the 50 years of his life. It feels like it has taken him 2 days to make and decorate it and I'm touched by the effort he has gone to. I've not had anything to do with it so me and my boy are going to be making the one for the day itself on Tuesday.

I'm pleased with the send off we gave yesterday to the last of my original colleagues. I'm feeling fearful at the moment of all the change and loss that is happening. I'm trying to remind myself that in my life experiences so far, the anticipation of how horrible it will be is never as bad as the reality, as when you are in that place of the change already happened there are new opportunities to love, and ways of loving in new ways those who were there before.

There's no rushing through those feelings I guess. Maybe if I didn't get in touch with the pain of not being with people I wouldn't be in such a good place to welcome all that is to come.

And here is my only harvest of the year. Just picked them now and put them on the windowsill to ripen as I don't think they would last another night. Funny old year.