Saturday, 8 August 2015

focussing on the now

I was so tired when we got back last night I couldn't even add up. We had been driving for over 10 hours since Dover. I hadn't slept much the night before. We d shut the big window door to the pool as it had been shut every other evening, not knowing that the air circulation was broken and that in closing it we raised the concentration of chlorine gas in the air. I lay in bed not only anxious that my children would die of poisoning, but also bringing to mind all the times I'd snapped at them during the day, worried that I wouldn't get another chance to parent better. Sometimes it is hard to stay in the present and I have had to remind myself lots these last two days cos i start to get upset every time I think of them going away this afternoon for 1o days. It would be easy to spoil this time by being sad instead of making the most of it.

A bbq helped distract me from the big good bye.

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