Ephemeral love?

I’ve been wondering why it can be hard to hold onto the knowledge that we are loved… I’m lucky to have people who love me, that tell me over and over again. Mainly I don’t need re-telling, I know they still do – but there can be times when I just don’t feel that same level of conviction cos the fear has surfaced. I guess that might be why we make use of symbols and gifts, photos and greetings cards, so that the people we love can then be surrounded by a constant reminder of our love for them. It’s partly why in my house we have a “wall of love” with the names of people who have in some way touched our lives.

A moment from today’s Passion has really struck – a daughter telling her alcoholic mum that she’ll love her no matter what. I’ve been wondering if I do/will ever stop loving people once I’ve started? I’m fairly sure, once I’ve made that decision to love you, that’s it, for ever… it isn’t always easy, but it doesn’t stop. I concede that maybe someday I’ll find it isn’t always possible – if someone I love hurt one of my children for example, would I still be able to love them? I know it’s not always been easy to keep loving my husband since he left, but I still do – I don’t think love just “goes” – where would it go to? And what would be the point in it going?

So, that’s it – once I love you, I love you for good (or bad). Even if we’re no longer in touch – some people so dear to me now live a long way away, or have died – and I still love them just as much now as when they had a more present presence in my life. Love might sometimes feel a bit wispy and elusive, but actually it’s the most solid thing I know.