In an ideal world, I would wash hankies, but as I'm not inhabiting anything like an ideal world, I use tissues. I find recycled tissues tricky to find and so this week I did a big traidcraft shop, so my tissue purchasing supports a company I like to back. Bulk buying was cheaper. I seem to have purchased 24 boxes, which surprised even me when they arrived - I did get some other bits too, like 80 toilet tolls.
These tissues may well come in handy, I'm once again coming down with a cold but also have been an emotional fish of late. A stranger on the street reduced me to tears yesterday by telling me how I was handling my dog wrongly. I know I'm getting lots of things wrong, I really don't need it all pointing out. Its interesting how some folk think it's their place to tell others. I try and make it my mission to notice where folk are doing well and point that out, hopefully to counteract the criticism received elsewhere.
My happiness feels fragile, nothing like a lasting contentment at the moment. Paul's death, and other recent setbacks, have left me aware that everything is transitory and it's hard to trust everything will be OK, when one moment it seems to be, then the next it isn't.
A good sing and dance to Shackles at choir last night did me good. I shall have to make space to sing amidst the freneticism of work today. I'm leading a celebration this lunchtime as part of National Breastfeeding Celebration month and am not yet in a party frame of mind...
Sick with sadness to read about the shootings in a church killing 9 black people. Going to have to dig deep today to manage the celebration event. My hope keeps getting such a bashing of late.
I managed to stay present - always the answer to everything - but now am waiting on 3 calls so can't leave but have a million things to do including buy broccoli. I have a work session tonight after drumming that is already tight for time. Feel too sick to eat anyway but I still have to feed nutritional stuff to the kids.
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