I was going to blog yesterday then discovered the one I'd written the week before hadn't posted. I have more time today any way... I am enjoying my weekends even more since starting a full time job as it's an opportunity to do things I've not had chance to do during the week. This term in particular tho I will be working a fair bit at weekends and evenings so I will be juggling when I'm working.
The word juggle is one I've been using a lot to describe how I feel about trying to be a good enough parent, worker, partner, daughter, friend etc. It's a better image than the one I was holding yesterday, which was of being stretched, for which the mental visual was one of being on a torture rack and pulled. At least the juggle image conjours happy times of clowns and fun. I currently am picturing myself with a full tray of crockery that I'm trying to keep upright, whilst I'm doing my best to move on some kind of large turquoise rubber ball. I'm wobbling all over the place whilst glasses slide precariously around the tray, in some cases tipping over the edge and smashing on the ground.
Attempting to be present whilst fretting I should be elsewhere is a challenge, but there's no point rearranging my work day to ensure I can be supportive at a hospital appointment if I then can't focus on actually being there, so it's important once I've committed to being in the one place to not wish I was in another. Sometimes I manage it, sometimes I don't and have been stressed and grumpy.
I wonder if I can change the picture I have of myself as that will alter how I actually am. To imagine myself in a more serene way. I once felt really calm on a low boat and remember telling myself to take an internal photo of just how smooth and peaceful it all was. Now is the time to relive that experience and embody that tranquillity.
More than once people have commented on my zen attitude, so I know I can do it. Hope you too today can embody whatever it is you want :-)
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