I'm definitely getting better at spending time in my own company. The trick is trying to move beyond the feelings that people don't want to spend time with me, to seeing it as an opportunity to spend quality time with myself and God. This morning I enjoyed 3 hours, mostly on the beach (I know,I don't even like beaches!) And had a lovely time, singing, clambering, noticing. A song from my primary school came back to me unbidden, about listening to God at the shore. I think I heard God more in the pebbles as the water receded and they rubbed up against each other. It was interesting watching the waves, unpredictable and so powerful. I've had bad experiences of waves before (tho also positive ones as a young child, when I was nicknamed surfer the great).
I even posted on fb a video of myself singing some of the song - as you'll remember my only regret this year was not recording myself singing swing low, with the amazing acoustics, in Beaumaris Castle Chapel. I need to stop being afraid of other people's judgements and just do things anyway. I can't post it here tho as it's too big to upload.
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