In the book I'm reading the father blames himself for the loss of his daughter, rather than those who took her. I can understand this feeling and I think clarity requires a different perspective to the one we have when we're caught up in our own feelings.
I'm struggling with my sense of self worth and the temptation is to seek proof that I'm worth fighting for / sticking with. But a wise part within me knows that's not the answer and a better view is to remember that every single one of us is worthy and that the goal is for no-one to have to fight to prove anything. Proof is temporary, only good in the moment it's presented (like a dbs that in effect is out of date even before the certificate arrives). Even a wedding vow, which I held to be proof of a commitment to hang in, is subject to human frailty. I have notes and cards of appreciation that I keep almost as talismans to remind me that people care and are grateful, but what if I didn't rely on them?
What would the world look like if we didn't have to prove to ourselves or each other that we are enough, we are loved, we are valued. Neither presents or presence required to shore it up. So not just undermining the gift industry, but also challenging the notion that our significance is affirmed by the affection or attention we receive. I'll keep working on that then.
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