Together

Unexpectedly plans have changed, we will stay in dufton another night. Here's a lovely tree from our very nice walk. I think it looks like the two trunks are hugging.

Tomorrow we will hopefully drive halfway to collect my lovelies, will be good to be with them again. I've never been apart from them to see in the new year before. But it's only a social construct, really it's a night like any other. Any time we spend together is good.

down time

It's been a tough few days but I'm hopeful now that things are back on the up :) Intense day of work today then off for a night in my favourite place. Then kids back tomorrow and lots of days in a row off to do not very much at all - hurrah!!!!
Thanks for hanging in with me. Hope you have been enjoying some down time too (in the sense of downing tools, not in terms of being down, I don't wish that on anybody, obvs.)

All ears

My ears are so important to me, listening being key to my daily experiences. Yet they've long given me trouble too. As a child I experienced a lot of earache, I currently find the skin inside them very irritating, and sometimes I get inner ear problems resulting in a vertigo that has afflicted me every morning these past 3 days. I was worried that I wasn't going to make the wedding yesterday, but plenty of meds made it possible and I was even able to dance the whole eve, which I thoroughly enjoyed. Today I've been able to work. An early night now so I can do it again tomorrow.

The one without a title

Time is such a funny phenomenon. It felt like there would be ages to cook and eat the Christmas meal after church before needing to take the kids at 4.30. Yet it disappeared so quickly. The time on my own since has dragged. I've volunteered on the helpline for a couple of hours. Maybe now is the time for a bubble bath.

Bathroom nativity

As a child, one of my favourite pastimes was setting up wedding scenes using an assortment of bottles in my mum's bedroom, perfume for the bride and bridesmaids, maybe some deodorant or talc as the groom. So when yesterday I was sent a Facebook challenge to create a bathroom nativity scene, it really appealed :-)

I didn't spend as long as when I was little (I sometimes did the same with my mum's tin of buttons) but it was good to reconnect with a childhood joy.

I find Christmas often requires a whole lot of imagination. I usually find it tricky cos the kids go away on the day for a week. I'm already getting wound up about it and don't know how to sidestep that. But I'll do my best.

Tick

Lie in - tick
Tiny tiny bit of work (oops) - tick
Consumed almost an entire chocolate orange - tick
Pretty much finished the wrapping - tick
Finished book in the bath - tick
Starting to relaxing TICK!

shepherd's warning

The clouds are tinged with pink this morning and I understand that Storm Barbara is on her way. Today's my last working day before a long weekend and I'm hoping tomorrow I might be able to batten down the hatches and spend some much needed time at home trying to clear up a bit but also have a lie in :) Today's question amongst many is do I buy some emergency wrapping paper? I was horrified to hear a fact in a TV programme recently about just how much wrapping paper is made in just one factory each year - enough to go around the globe 10 times - how on earth can we need that much wrapping paper?? It won't surprise you to be told that I re-use the pieces from the previous year's gifts, but there's always that slight worry of what if I need a piece bigger than I have? I guess in that case my patchwork skills will come to the fore...
But that's tomorrow. Today has a bag pack after work so I'd best get myself ready :)

Greatest gift is me :-)

It's been a long day - the dog was up a lot of the night and on taking to the vets needed to stay in to be sedated. He's home now and hopping along, feeling rather sorry for himself.

I'm not an advert person as you know. At the Carol service I was introduced to this, I think it's great:-)
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=bq5SGSCZe4E

begin and never cease

I'm not a pub person, but I enjoyed a time of joy yesterday belting out "whilst shepherds watched their flocks". It's to a special tune that I think was written especially for singing in pubs and it really was good to sing it with such gusto to a packed bar. I really enjoyed that moment particularly, but the entire session was fun.

The whole weekend has been full of intense singing, it's a wonder I have any voice left today. Still two gigs to go before Christmas, I also enjoyed an almost flashmob element to the church nativity yesterday when I donned a tinsel halo and several of us stood as angels. And Saturday night the dancing in the aisles at Preston Minster was also very joyous indeed. Our choir leader often sings as the spirit leads and we had several what I call scooby doo endings, where we think we've finished then start up again. It all sounded good in all 3 different places. I'm lucky to do so much of what I love.

Hope you too are getting plenty of opportunities to do what you love (is that not what life is?)

Christmas over time

I especially enjoyed singing accapella carols tonight. I'm not yet feeling Christmassy, but that took me back to Carol singing from door to door which I loved doing as a teenager and ever since. The harmonies and words are ingrained in my head from old, dragged out from the depths of my brain year after year.
We have a new and lovely nativity scene this year.

Seagull lake

On this morning's dog walk there were so many amassed seagulls it looked like a lake. The light was rubbish so photo probably not worth sharing, use your imagination :-)
I know I've been quiet of late but I'm hoping things are back on the up now.

Texture

my girly 's next photography project involves texture, so whether she was with me or not, I was noticing lovely textures and snapping them. Here are some of my favourites.

Mild

Too mild for a fire but I'm sleepy so might dream anyway. I'm watching a Christmas film, tho I'm fairly sure its the one Christmas film I watched last year.

Will update with photos of the walk tomorrow once we're home.

Whilst we dream by the fire

So tired.  but here safely and now next to the currently unlit fire. Tomorrow it will blaze and I will dream.  maybe even get into a christmassy mood. my girly loves Christmas which I'm pleased about given that I'm often humbug about it.  and some people thought I would ruin it's magic for them by not insisting on the santa myth.
But now sleep after a very long week.

Blur/ oasis

I have been incredibly productive today.  earning overtime even tho we're only on Thursday. I have even tonight written most of my Christmas cards - there's not even two digits to the December days yet,  and I  recent years it's been my boxing day task. so I have been a bit of a blur.  I did manage to slow down a little for the advent labyrinth,  where I particularly enjoyed the effort that had gone into this prayer table.

Custardy feet in my top 3

I know that I have made a similar list before but this is specific to right now,  so here are some things that I am really liking at the moment :
How soft the dog is when I cuddle up to him at night
A new body cream I'm using on my feet that has been in the cupboard ages until I finished the last boring one.  this smells like custard.
Texts and emails from friends and the Internet for playing word games and keeping in touch.

no proof required

In the book I'm reading the father blames himself for the loss of his daughter, rather than those who took her. I can understand this feeling and I think clarity requires a different perspective to the one we have when we're caught up in our own feelings.

I'm struggling with my sense of self worth and the temptation is to seek proof that I'm worth fighting for / sticking with. But a wise part within me knows that's not the answer and a better view is to remember that every single one of us is worthy and that the goal is for no-one to have to fight to prove anything. Proof is temporary, only good in the moment it's presented (like a dbs that in effect is out of date even before the certificate arrives). Even a wedding vow, which I held to be proof of a commitment to hang in, is subject to human frailty. I have notes and cards of appreciation that I keep almost as talismans to remind me that people care and are grateful, but what if I didn't rely on them?

What would the world look like if we didn't have to prove to ourselves or each other that we are enough, we are loved, we are valued. Neither presents or presence required to shore it up. So not just undermining the gift industry, but also challenging the notion that our significance is affirmed by the affection or attention we receive. I'll keep working on that then.

more than a glimmer

Today I've started to feel hopeful again, hurrah!

Tempted to leave it at that really :-)