2016 is currently pretty much a blank canvas. Very little is already arranged. I don't even yet have my tickets for greenbelt as I don't know how many to buy. But as one of the highlights of my year, that is something that is a definite (as much as anything can be a definite in an uncertain world). Other than that, there is no holiday planned, tho maybe that would be something to start thinking about to brighten today. Yes both me and my boyfriend may get new jobs this year but I realised having a holiday booked before then may be A Good Thing. There is not a single date in the diary as to when my lovelies are with me and when they will be with their dad. hopefully that can get sorted today too, as that then makes planning other things easier - this week I was asked to fill in two doodle polls as to my availability and I just don't know.
I'm back at work on the 5th and have no plans for these next few days. Whilst the kids were away they did a panto, shopping trips, lots of relatives, so mainly want to do nothing now they are back. An hour after they got back yesterday I was already alone, but the advantage of that was I was free to message a friend in need rather than just sit feeling lonely. There are opportunities when no plans are in place. But I can't help but feel adrift. So time to plan something to look forward to.
I'm glad I've already done a lot of work on my emotions, or would have found this morning even more overpowering. I was surprised at just how hard i found it to scroll through Facebook. There are often things happening to others that I find bittersweet - I can be happy for others in wishing them a happy wedding anniversary, for example, and notice the inner tinge of sadness. Today involved a whole multitude of button pressing. I am genuinely delighted that lots of people have had lots of love surrounded by love ones. And I also got to notice I have plenty of unhealed hurts when looking at the nuclear family poses, and seeing the parties of people I have been invited to in the past but not this year. I also knew I couldn't possibly be the only person who finds it hard not to compare lives and judge ourselves inferior, and so I appealed to my higher self :-)
trust that your higher self reassured. Are you actively doing any meditation Kristie?
ReplyDeleteMy higher self strategy is reaching out to reassure others :-) the FB status I posted had one of my highest ever responses :-) and I contacted lots of people to check in with them too. It was good to do and left me feeling more connected.
DeleteNope, not doing any meditation. You?