a to Zen of the human heart

I've begun packing in earnest now, decanted shower gel and counted out socks ( as we're going by ferry not plane I've not weighed them this time). The weather forecast is looking good , tho I've not ruled out a repack having woken this morning wanting my scarf. the latest review of the hotel is encouraging.

http://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/ShowUserReviews-g1081543-d637107-r293841272-Hotel_Callecanes-Watou_West_Flanders_Province.html#UR293841272

But that is not yet the now, there is still much to enjoy in the present. The end of holiday club and the last Friday choir before the summer break. My last day at work for a week will hopefully not be too stressy. Yesterday my lovely colleague bought me an awesome book that has many fab pages like this:

once in a...

So apparently tomorrow there is to be a blue moon. I was thinking what special thing I could do to mark such a rare occaion, but in looking up the blurb, it's maybe not so rare after all. The next is in 2018 and there are going to be two that year - so that's not exactly unique is it?

http://www.al.com/news/index.ssf/2015/07/blue_moon_2015_see_the_last_on.html

Today's novelty is that after holiday club then running the breastfeeding group, me and my girly are in charge of the long jump at our church sports day event in Blackpool. You could fit onto a postage stamp all I know about the long jump, so we'll see how that goes!

... The long jump involves sand - I forgot that! All went well tho, over 40 children participating, and we're consistently getting 40 every day at holiday club - the leadership team (which in itself is awesome, spanning every decade) is working hard, we will be sad when it all comes to an end tomorrow.

welly mail

Was distraught last night to discover from a scout leader that my boy is 'hoping for a text at some point'. Clearly he's not received any of the many I sent and must be wondering why he hasn't heard from me. Not being able to reassure those we love, and be reassured by them, is very hard. As I've said before, it must have been hideous during ww1 not being able to be in touch with loved ones far away. Today the husband of aforementioned scout leader is going to the campsite and is going to take my boy's wellies. I shall put a note inside the wellies. I have contemplated buying a cheap phone in my lunch break, charging it up, putting on credit and sticking it in the wellies, but there is no guarantee another network would have any better coverage.
We shall be reunited in just over 3 days in any case. For now welly mail will have to suffice.

...
Well it turns out I was fretting unecessarily (hmmm, like that ever happens!!). He has been getting my texts but wanted an opportunity to text me back - hopefully one will get through later from his leaders phone. Already counting down the days til I can hug him again :)

coming around again

You will not be surprised that I'm not a dedicated follower of fashion. I understand how clothes express our personality, I don't understand the constant replacing of functioning clothes as they are no longer deemed to be on trend. Given this, I don't need to go clothes shopping often as its only when something wears out that I replace it. Looking at prices yesterday I can see I save myself a fortune.
My girly however keeps growing. It was lovely to spend time with her. And amused me to discover that several items in my wardrobe that I've had for ever are currently very ' in' :-)
The uber catchy polar express theme song from holiday club kept me awake at 5 this morning. This is not helpful in a week where I have to be out at 8.20am every day to register all the youngsters before then heading off to work. Their enthusiasm yesterday was really inspiring - hopefully their energy will motivate me again today!
Managed to give someone a long hug today - yay! Did I mention already how much I love giving/receiving hugs? ;)

rain stops play?

The rain prevented the visit by a survival expert to the camp, which has tickled me. I am hoping my boy, who is not a survival expert, is more able to withstand the elements. I suspect he's not making much use of the hammock he constructed. He has taken his phone but it's either already out of charge, or there is no signal, so I think I'm unlikely to make any contact with him for the whole week. This is hard, I'm missing him lots and to not be in touch is difficult. But probably good for practising my trust - I know the leaders would let me know if anything was amiss so I don't really need to hear his actual voice to know he's doing ok.
As well as my usual working week, I'm helping out with holiday club this week. It suddenly struck me that maybe that's the source of my Jesus comment of last week. Attending holiday club seems memorable, maybe the young person recalled me from there? I love helping with holiday club, tho with more enrolled this year than ever before I worry a little about my energy levels this week!

So far, so fab :) This afternoon we will brave the rain to go and buy more clothes for my girly, who seems to keep on growing.

never can say goodbye

Waved off my boy on his adventures. I never like saying goodbye to anyone. And having listened to news this week in which children haven't come home from trips it would be easy for the fear to win. But he'll have an ace time and loving people involves them doing their own thing knowing that they are secure in your love that they take with them til they return for a top up.
Running Sunday school and then a shared lunch as it is our lovely minister's last service. He's leading holiday club next week tho and so I'll see more of him this coming week than i  have in the last 3 months so it doesn't feel like goodbye yet.

... plan was to cycle this afternoon but the rain put me off. a busy week coming up so am resting in advance. Duvet on sofa. Word games with online pals, and some sci fi film I don't understand. Salted caramel chocolate, I do love the combination and know it is on trend. 35 years ago me and my sister would scoff a small bar of Cadbury chocolate with a packet of ready salted crisps outside the pub in Dufton, and the result was heavenly :-)

light makes things lovely

Choir was ace last night, we sang for the first time two songs that I really really like:-)
I cried tho, when someone I don't know all that well but admire greatly told me that he prays for me every day. I've reflected on why it touched me so much and I think it is someone committing to supporting me when they really don't have to, that there is nothing in it for them other than them doing something they think is worthwhile and that they have some faith in me that I'm worth that investment.
I drove back to a beautiful sunset that is hard to capture on camera. My son was especially keen for me to photograph the impact it had on the church spire. Its my last day with him before he's away camping for a week, so a day of searching for his missing fork, buying hiking boots and batteries, and noticing how lovely light makes things. Hope you enjoy the light too :-)

Hiking boots purchased in a size that I could borrow, and even his cutlery has his name on it as requested. I always get tetchy before saying goodbye for a while, but I think he's set.

cycling Jesus

I left my keys behind when I cycled over to the cricket club to collect my son. This was rather annoying as we needed the keys to unlock his bike, and so I did a quick cycle back and there again. Twice I passed a bunch of young people, and had I not been dashing, would very much have liked to have stopped to enquire about the comment they made about me both times I rode passed. The phrase "watch out Jesus is coming" is a curious insult (as I suspect it was, tho many would see it as a fantastic compliment). I have NO idea at all why they'd have shouted that at me, I wasn't in sandals and beard for example, and can recall no Bible stories of Jesus on a bicycle in a hurry.
Maybe it was my shiny halo.

what's now is now

Just waved my boy off to primary school for the last time. He's brought back the contents of his tray already - there's something rather emotional about removing yourself from an environment. I think today will mainly involve marking the end and knowing that every little thing every day is an ending in some way or another and that it's not helpful to wallow in how things have changed. Celebrating milestones is one thing, wallowing quite another.
Not much time to dwell tho before the leavers service after lunch - before then I'm at the army camp and then off to the doctors for the follow up appointment to discuss my cholesterol results...

3.7, despite the cheese so that's alright then.

insufficient

I've not had enough sleep for several nights in a row now. Working with new parents tho, I'm in no place to moan about being tired, as they will be more tired.
I'm up ready for the gas people to come and disconnect the gas for the day whilst they upgrade a pipe along the street. I expect there will be chaos later when they come back to reconnect it. Unless the rain stops, the twenty odd teenagers coming to use the pool may well be crammed into the lounge to watch films instead. I'm not the only one hoping the sun will emerge.

It was an unnecessary get up, the gas folk are coming back tomorrow to do it then instead.
Just had my final wednesday worship. When I first went it was with a wriggly toddler on my lap.

An hour into the pool party without me being back from work and no-one is in the pool yet, there is copius mud in the kitchen, but a good time seems to be being had. Someone is running their spotify account on my computer so I can't access mine and the gas people seem to have dug up my pavement anyway. It could all be a lot worse :)

into the wild

Finally started film time early enough to pick the long one! I commented early on that for me I enjoy things most when I share them with someone, even if it is just blogging about it after - Thank you for being there to share with. A similar conclusion was reached in the film. It made me cry ( what doesn't). And I'm particularly struck by how our choices to live the lives we need to live, inevitably impact on those we are in relationship with, whether fleeting or lifetime. I have goosebumps now and its not from the scenery.

Apparently my friend who recommended it to me had warned me it was sad. I have no recollection of that - I think I accept as inevitable that I will be moved by everything and don't let that stop me from doing anything. Which made me think how people sometimes say women forget how painful childbirth is or else we'd never do it again. I don't think it's quite like that - I think we remember but know we are strong enough to get through it and that it's worth the agony.

beginning of the end/end of the beginning?

Pretty much everyone else I talk to, their school has already broken up for the summer holiday, but we still have most of a week left. Thursday will be my son's last day at primary school and this week has several events leading up to that. We've already had his final school play, there's a special lunch today and then various markers. I feel quite emotional about it - I've been involved with the school for nearly a quarter of my life so it's fine that it's a big deal.
Meanwhile my daughter finishes the day before and is hosting a pool party, so over the weekend we had to clean out the (green) pool and weed the garden (how could it get so overgrown in such a short time?) but I haven't been able to mop the floors. That may not happen today either as I have a work meeting over wyre where a colleague is leaving and another one returning. Lots of endings and beginnings.

when sending involve a staying

We sang 'I the lord of sea and sky' this morning, and I was struck by the calling we all have and that sometimes folk can think calling is to go somewhere and do something obvious, whereas the last line is about holding people in our hearts. Going where we are needed might not involve much far flung going at all. It might involve walking to the post box to send a card. It might involve staying to pick up the shattered glass pieces when you'd rather flee.
I will have to check which pope it was, I think it was the lovely Francis, who says we pray for the hungry. Then we feed the hungry. I've said before about how I think prayer works, focussing our mind on a situation and working things through so we can figure our response to it, not just leaving it at that.
I also need to work out what talent I'm going to offer for the upcoming auction of promises. Will mull that today.

Here I am lord, is it i lord
I have heard you calling in the night*
I will go lots, if you need me I will hold your people in my heart

* when the baby cries, when the text comes in, they are callings in the night from people who need holding...

mind over matter

The dog moves round lots in the night and when I woke he was at the foot of the bed. I really needed a big cuddle and so I took my pillow and turned round. When I next woke up I remembered before opening my eyes, but as it didn't feel any different I couldn't picture that I was upside down and so it was still a shock when I opened my eyes.
A friend was telling me yesterday how she talked herself into handling a difficult journey. Our minds and determination can be amazing. I shall try and use her tactics later. Plan b caused tension so isn't happening maybe plan a will still come to pass. If not, plan c will of course be brilliant, given some strong will on my part.
... plan c was ace, which should be no surprise given my strong will, that I am fabulous company, that I have an awesome music collection in my car - in addition to fischy and mumford, there was a live aid special on the radio too - and that when I'm alone in the car I can sing really really loud :-) I'm really glad that I went anyway, and got to see some folk I've not seen in a long time:-)

on the bench

What I'd really like to do today is sit on a bench with my best friend and put the world to rights. But as that's not possible what I'll actually do is head off to work, starting with a home visit so I need to be on time, and keep my fingers crossed that my boyfriend is well enough to join me for the weekend. If not it will have to be a loud sing in the car on my own - the party is in Stoke.
Sometimes when we can't have our friends remind us what we need to hear, we get to do it for ourselves, so Kristie, I'm sorry to hear things are challenging at the moment but you're doing so well. The world is lucky to have you :)
...
In better news, one of my new colleagues likes my hugs. The former team were not really huggers, and it's great to have someone who actually requested a hug from me this morning. And then serendipitously, I bumped into a friend on my way to the post box this afternoon and so she walked the dog with me and listened whilst I berated myself, and unprompted told me I was OK. I'm glad I know lots of lovey people :) Now to try and figure out plan b for tomorrow.

adding gloves to the collection

I had a penny dropping moment last night. Everything is an opportunity to learn, and I can see I will be the better for the realisation. Empathy is a fab thing to develop :)
Sometimes tho, an easy, gentle ride would be nice.
I'm off to go and purchase an engagement present, and some thicker gardening gloves to avoid the prickles (maybe that's all I need to add to my imaginary outfit - as well as my teflon coated cape I can have prickle avoiding gloves?!)

I got some (actual) gloves. When I'm finding things hard, I treat myself with soft things. So I've just put on my slippers even tho it's summer. I'm thinking I'm going to create myself a whole imaginary protective wardrobe including soft slippers for when the way is rough.

oxytocin - book review

My book, The oxytocin factor by Kerstin Moberg, is a bit sciency for my brain, but I'm getting enough gems to override any fear of the science. I Really don't like all the experiments on rats either. But I'm enjoying learning lots about  oxytocin - I've long known it is fab, but am getting a clearer picture of it now. Which is great, as somewhere in my master plan, I'm thinking I can use this info when I'm writing funding bids for my cuddle shop :D

It's often seen as a women's hormone, which is no surprise given its importance in childbirth and breastfeeding. But it's essential for men too, though interestingly they need twice the amount to achieve the same effect as estrogen reinforces the effect. Far more research has been done on its counterpart system in our bodies, the fight/flight response to stress. There's still much to be learned about this system of calming and bonding. I'm interested in it not just because of its key role in nursing babies, I'm fascinated because it promotes the aspects of living that please me most. With oxytocin we become less fearful and aggressive, less afraid of contact with others including strangers, and are more gregarious. It creates emotional connection encouraging us to reach out and feel close.

As well as benefitting our interactions and relationships of all kinds, oxytocin strengthens our immune systems and offers pain relief. Caring touch is a brilliant way of producing oxytocin, gentle strokes lowering blood pressure. I was amused by the results of an experiment that showed that people lightly touched by a librarian were more likely to return their books than those not touched. Forming an emotional connection encourages us to honour promises.

There are various healthy ways to release oxytocin - massage, exercise, meditation, spending time with those we love. And less healthy ones too - alcohol, eating fatty foods, etc. Oxytocin has lots to do with our digestive system. When we are calm our bodies can focus on growing, and storing nutrition. I was interested in her concept of eating as an internal massage - touch on our inside skin. Lots of us use food to achieve a sense of well being, and she spoke of how common it is when students leave home and often put on weight, eating for comfort having lost the security of home.

The list of who might benefit from increased oxytocin seems vast - those experiencing bereavement, depression; there is support for the cardiovascular system; and surely society as a whole would benefit if we were better connected emotionally. Back to my cuddle shop tho and whilst I can see any oxytocin boost is better than none, it comes back to building community rather than one off fixes.

I'll leave you with a quote from the end of the book:
"Ever since research discovered and described the fight or flight reaction, it has been clear that this physiological system is vital to survival, to the ability to mobilize our resources and perform at our highest levels, at least for a short time. When we look at society today, however, it seems that the fight or flight attributes have become the sole basis for many values and standards about how people should live. Independence, competition, efficiency, achievement and power are highly valued.
However, we are equally adapted biologically for living in a very different way. We are intrinsically structured to be able to connect, nurture, rest, reflect and rejoice. We are made to love and to experience sexual ecstasy with a partner. We have the innate ability to feed our bodies, minds and spirits, both literally and figuratively, and to take pleasure in what they can do." p177
She writes how many of us are struggling with the effects of stress, but happily we have the means within us to counter this, to evoke calm and connection.

I think life is all about connection - can you see why I have spent so much of last night reading and then writing about this book?!
It wasn't like I planned on waking up at 5.30am to finish it. I'm so tired now tho :( Tonight's gig should re-energise me :)

stars I navigate home by

One of my many highlights of the weekend was the moment a friend read the text I'd sent saying I was sat at 7 o clock, i.e. behind him to the left. He swivelled round and I sprang up and waved. It had been nearly 20 years since we'd last seen each other. The power of facebook meant he had recognised that my choir were going so he'd messaged me to see if I'd be there and we exchanged mobile numbers. I wonder if I'd have spotted him if I hadn't known to look for him?
The scheduling meant I didn't see him in his choir and he didn't see me in mine. A delay in my gathering with everyone else for the mass choir meant I inadvertently ended up with the basses (despite not being a bass for that song, that was later in the weekend!) and it meant I got a few more minutes to chat. A happy happenstance.

This saturday I shall be seeing my longest standing friend. It's her daughter's engagement party, she has meant a lot to me since before she was a twinkle in their eye or however that phrase goes.

Friends are my lifeblood :D I think there is an oxytocin link, we are more open to new friendships and more successful in the relationships we form when there is plenty of oxytocin - I suspect I have a lot of oxytocin :D I'm loving the book and will write up about it when I've read a bit more but i think the world needs more of it :D

It's all about the bass

Apparently I've reached the kind of age when I'm now called for a medical overhaul. That has left me feeling a tad old, but it's how things are, and I'm a staunch celebrator of our marvellous NHS so am very grateful to live in a place/time where they are looking out for me. So in a mo I'm off to have my cholesterol levels checked for the first time. Probably not a good idea that I've eaten my bodyweight in cheese over the weekend but it seemed like a good idea to take little cheeses and crackers around with me, and it paid off as excepting my Costan Rican meal I didn't have to buy any snacks/meals whilst in Whitby (save an icecream. It was so sunny it would have been rude not to).

I'm still buzzing from the weekend (if a little tired now to be facing a busy week). I fulfilled a lifelong ambition to be a bass :) The ace superheroes workshop on leading a choir (to gain tips for fronting my church choir) had us choose which of 3 parts we wanted to sing - we had learned all 3 so I knew I could sing the bass part and so I did :D This is us after less than an hour together, busking 'neath the bones.

I think Christian Aid Week stuff is finally at an end - I may have already said this once? The week that starts in January and ends in August? Anyway, the grand total is £4833.92. Hurrah.

Laughter yoga

Yesterday was great, far more left wing than I anticipated!! Bucking the trend, I didn't have whitby fish and chips but opted instead for the uk's only Costa Rican restaurant.  I bravely tried both chilli and rum, seeing as it was called a rum shack.

There was a woman attending the laughter yoga workshop on the basis it had the word yoga in the title. She looked very out of her comfort zone, there was very little yoga tho we did focus on breathing. When I could get over the embarrassment of it, the workshop was brilliant, and I've picked up lots of tips for encouraging ourselves to laugh when we don't necessarily feel like it.
My next workshop was for superheroes and I loved that too.
And then we went to an ancient church - no power or toilets - and did such an amazing gig I got goosebumps at one point,  the acoustics were so wonderful! If you look very carefully in the second photo, which was our view before the audience arrived, you can see the sea out of the window. It was amazing, singing form the gallery (if a little scary, we can get very excited in our clapping and dancing, and that gallery was very very old!!).

Single bed

...I can't put this in the right place,  will move it when I'm home tomorrow.  Today has been fab and I'm all signed up for laughter yoga for the morning :-)

I don't often sleep in a single bed and there's something oddly reassuring about it. I love staying in a religious order,  tho not seen a sister yet and there is no time to join in the offices today anyway.
I'm in my new clothes and ready for a full on day - which so far looks like this!

photoniff

My camera doesn't capture scent, sadly, as these honeysuckle were great.

I'd hoped to finally watch a film recommended to me ages ago, only it was already past ten, and I discovered it is 2 hours 28 mins, so that's postponed for another night.

There are advantages to being disorganised. Last week I removed the bottle of de-icer from my car, but I didn't take out the ice scraper. Which was handy, as it meant I could use it today to help remove the enormous puddle of broken glass I managed to park in. I left work early so I could firstly remove the pieces and then gingerly drive home, in case I needed extra time to get my tyres seen to. The coach to Whitby isn't going to wait for me. Anyway, hopefully all is well, I made it back home. I did feel cross with the bottle dropper though.

Here safely.  Tired,  so early night before tomorrow ' s long day!

first world problems

I've woken up sad. It's not the tax credits - I had been anxious they were going to be scrapped altogether so I feel I'm much better off than I'd feared I was going to be. Tho maybe I'm sad on behalf of others? Or maybe it's because my camera isn't working so I can't capture and share my special moments? (I've turned it off and on again and so it's working again now - hurrah! So I now posted the pic for yesterday.)

I went to bed full of glee - I have bought a book to be sent to a friend, I love doing that kind of thing, passing forwards the joy I had earlier in the week. Tho I wanted to check she'd not already got it, and ask for her address, so it won't exactly be a surprise, but I think it's a book she and her son will love.

Today's a really busy day, including dropping off the car at the garage to see if they can fix the air conditioning. I don't think it's worked in the four and a half years since I inherited it, tho maybe it did at first. I think it's the sort of thing that keeps working if you use it and cos I see it as an unnecessary first world luxury, I never did. Only now there will be 5 of us in the car on a long and possibly hot journey to Belgium, it has been suggested that we get it fixed.

Air con sorted, regulation red trousers found. Off to reclaim car.

red and black

I need to be in red and black pretty much the whole time I'm at Whitby so have packed every plain red or black item of clothing that I posses into my (red) case. I'm busy tonight and thurs so am trying to be organised. The dog creased it all nicely by lying on it before I actually got it into the case, but that will be a nice reminder of home when I get there :) Sadly, the shade of red I like (burgundy) isn't really the choir colour so I don't really own anything in the right shade of red. I might have to peruse the charity shops briefly on thursday after work.

I should have thought to check out youtube before - here's Joni building up the songs like I said I enjoyed so much - so if you can get half way through, watch her sing her own harmonies over the top of her own voice - I love it :)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=khD-kpo40yU

I've been thinking (again!) about love and hurt. It's hard to be around others when they are hurting and lashing out and being mean instead of kind. I keep reminding myself that the message we have is love. It's a good message. And it's not - for me - about persuading people to listen to the message, it's about being love, it's about showing that it is possible to have a loving rather than hurt filled response. I don't always come even close. But I know it's there to be aiming for :)

And today red and black have other connotations. According to a bbc worky-outer thing, I shall be £1500 less well off under the new budget. Hey ho.

cake shaped

The waiter last night was very pleased to talk about Ramadan. The thing I liked most about what he shared was how it equalized people, that whether you are a queen or poor, you still have to wait the same amount of time til you can break the fast.
It was good to hear all he had to say. I would be so rubbish at fasting.

NB, I always ask people's permission before
posting their picture on my blog :)

I've long liked Stephen Fry, and enjoyed watching most of an unscripted hour and a half of him talking to an audience. Didn't get to the end tho, needed some sleep. Only managed a little of my oxytocin book but I know I'm going to love it!

...
Serendipitously, both offspring have sprung home on the same day from their different schools clutching evidence of doing well at school, SATS results and certificates, there is an air of celebration. One teacher has suggested they ask their parents for a well deserved treat. Hmmm. I'm not really into rewards for attainment. But I am into celebrating :) Well, when I can persuade the tired boy to leave his screen, we shall see what treat may be found in town (I'm hoping it's cake shaped. Or maybe that will be my treat for the parenting input into any successes that I wish to claim for myself!!)

disorganised

This morning I realised I have my weeks mixed up and I needn't have rushed my book. I am feeling all over the place and am aware that we go away at the start of next month so have lots to sort by then.
Maybe this is why I finished my book? This has arrived in the post today - I mentioned the other day that I was keen to read it - I know some lovely people :)

I don't know what it is about phoning up about insurance that I dislike so much, but I do. The woman I spoke to was lovely tho and that's one more thing off my list.

Just spotted that Joni is playing at greenbelt - yay!

shepherds reasonably happy?

We had heard that there might be another thunderstorm over night - if there was I never heard it. We also heard that the rain was then going to continue til weds. So we awaited the sunset anxiously, looking for some red sky. There was this hint of pink, which I decided was enough, and indeed the morning broke beautifully and we were able to get the tents away dry with no need to rush. Home again now and it's tipping it down so as yet I've not brought it all in from the car. I'm enjoying a much needed cup of tea, and have around half of my book group book to go. I've now really got into it so would like to finish it before it has to go back to the library on wednesday. Housework and other cares may have to be put to one side ;)  
I finished it all in one go, I thought it was a good read, lots of interesting themes - the roles of priests, building of community, what our fears can leave us believing, the power of food made with love.

Lightning!

We have a guest with us who has never camped before. For her first night we had a spectacular storm. Lightning in a tent is different from experiencing lightning inside,  as you get surround light as well as surround sound. It lasted some time. Wish I'd not been so lazy and had got up and taken a pic. Our new camper took it all in her stride,  which is good as we're hoping shell come to greenbelt with us.
The kids all had thunder and lightning icecream but I chose plum and damson. I'm finding it hard to be present tho and fully enjoy myself as my mind is elsewhere.  I have some pics I'll post once I'm home. The kids have spent the whole afternoon in the sea,  and for a long while,  playing in some mud.  It is these days of parenting I hope make up for the days of endless screen time.  We've picked some wild garlic to place amongst the bbq coals :-)

purple

My other favourite colour is purple. Same as before, I prefer variations rather than a solid colour, and I prefer the bluer than pinker shades in the purple spectrum. I was v pleased to spot these yesterday - not in my garden, but hopefully they didn't mind me stopping to admire and take a pic!

The quote in my head at the moment goes "Love the child you have, not the one you wish you had" that I ages ago saw on a school wall and liked. I think it's true of every single relationship we have tho - we need to love the friend/colleague/boss/partner/parent etc etc we have, not the one we in our minds wish they were more/less like. Sometimes easier said than done I know.

... Maybe we're just not meant to be going camping this weekend. the litany of obstacles is huge. One more thing and I'm calling the whole thing off. But maybe once we're there my shoulders will sink a little and it will be ok.

Well, we made it.

soaring rainbows

I have never eaten fish. Well, I must have tried it as a child to know that I didn't want to eat it. One of my earliest memories was of the fear of being forced to eat pilchards in school dinners - I think they usually respected my refusal but occasionally insisted and I would weep in terror.
So it's interesting then that I have spent a week salivating once I saw the menu for the place where we ate out tonight to mark the leaving of a colleague. I've never seen the like before - vegetarian fish and chips, a battered halloumi, the description and photo of which I shall not post as I know some of my blog readers are dieting. It nearly lived up to expectations, tho I found it a bit greasy, maybe cos I'm not used to eating battered food?
Instead here is my new profile pic, as i wanted to keep a rainbow. I wore this combination one night this week - rainbow top, persimmon orange shorts (former jeans I liked too much to throw away when the rip at the knees became too ridiculous so I converted them.) I was trying to do too much in too short a time so borrowed a child's scooter and felt at home in my skin, soaring through my town in this colourful get up.

... I'm still getting up to speed this morning (that's my way of saying I'm sleepy and so not yet doing a million and one things at once). I'm taking a first look at the programme for the weekend next weekend. I think i choose two of these:

https://streetchoirwhitby2015.wordpress.com/the-workshops/

laughter yoga - how awesome!