Weighty expectations

“You’ve let me down, you’ve let X down, and most of all you’ve let yourself down”

Even if we never had this communicated to us in these particular words, I’ve noticed lots of us seem to be living under a weight of expectations, and a fear of letting people down.

I’ve been told that my expectations of others are too high and can’t be lived up to, so I’ve been reflecting on this. One thing I’m pleased with is that whilst I haven’t “lowered” my expectations (I still think it’s important to imagine, and see the best in people) what I am managing more often is to change my expectations. In the past I’ve often hoped people would do things that way I would do them and then have been disappointed when they’ve gone and done it their way!!! Hopefully I’m more appreciative now that we of course all do things in different ways, and someone else’s way is just as valid as mine ;)

I’m also trying to unhook my feelings of disappointment. I might feel let down, but that doesn’t mean “you have let me down” – the I statement makes a big difference – I can own, and reflect on my feelings, but I don’t have to go around trying to make others feel guilty.

And I can choose not to live under the weight of other people's expectations - I often feel burdened by letting the neighbours down for not keeping my grass mown, but actually, I'm not accountable to them, I could do what I wanted, not what I expect others expect!!

 

So, what if we each trusted that we were doing our best and not letting anyone down? What if we knew each other person was doing their best and so didn’t get to feel let down by them? I think we all might get along a whole lot better, feeling a whole lot lighter…