At a recent co-counselling event, I was struck by the saying that we are all loved way more than we have a picture of. And that we love people way more than we usually let on.
Today I want to let people know that I really really really love them. I don’t want to wait til the most amazing people in my life die before I start eulogising them. I want them to have a glimpse right now that they make a tangible difference in my life, that I am so glad I have met them and learned from them and had the opportunity to love and be loved by them.
But how do I do that? Buying gifts just doesn’t do it for me. Thinking to phone them can be a start. Giving them a massive hug is another... using both my arms. Or maybe I just need to say it?
I’ve been thinking how do others communicate to me that they love me? I’ve very fortunate to have had several people in my life unequivocally tell me that I am fully loved - they have told me and I have heard it. Others frequently show me their love without words but in kind gestures.
Times when I’ve felt love stongly includes when I’ve been ‘needy’ rather than useful, because I’ve been able to seperate out the feeling of being loved for who I am rather than a gratiitude for what I do for others - I was so touched by the friend turning up with a picnic of goodies when I was encamped in a hospital ward for 3 weeks; and by the numerous friends who have listened for hours whilst I have sobbed about how devastated I was by my husband leaving.
I’ve also been able to notice how loved I am when it feels like someone has ‘sacrificed’ something for me - baked a whole tray of Brownies and not had a single one herself; given me their car when they could easily have sold it; passed on a treasured possession; trusted me with a secret.
So today, I will try and give - give of myself, my time, my stuff, and see if I can begin to show just how much the people in my life mean to me.
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