I was called selfish the other day, which doesnt happen to me all that often. I don’t think of myself as a selfish person, and really don’t want to become one. However, it was a good opportunity to examine my motives and notice that I have started to get better at considering my own needs.
My decision making process is pretty selfless I would say - everything I do/buy, I try and assess: who will this help, who might it affect negatively? what’s the environmental impact? is this something essential for my life or would the money/time be more useful for someone else? i don’t always remember to include myself in the thinking - is this something that would enrich my life? Can I be gentle with myself over the inevitable compromising in this decision-making process?
Christians are asked to love others as we love ourselves. I’ve always done a lot of loving others, and think I will probably only love them as well as I can love myself. Thankfully, I love myself loads at the moment, so there’s then plenty of love for others too :)
And then there’s the balancing act. There are lots of needy people in my life and in the world, some needs I can help with, others I can’t. And if I spend all my time meeting only the needs of others, where does that leave me? (Usually completely knackered and ill by the end of Christian Aid Week!!) I think lots of people, and women in particular, are encouraged to put other people first. It can make it hard for us to be in touch with what it is we need for ourselves, what it is we want for our own lives. As part of my commitment to myself, I am trying to think better - what is it that makes me happy, how is it I want to live this, my one shot at existence? Fortunately, a lot of what brings me happiness is making others happy, making things fairer for everyone. And sometimes what makes me happy is not going to please everyone else, cos that is impossible! Campaigning about injustice can make people uncomfortable. Having a social life means I’m not always there for my children. So I get to face the fact that the things I do may not be what others would do, and may not be to their liking... but only I can choose what I think is right for me.
You’ll have your own various priorities you’re trying to juggle... hope you manage to balance them in a way that brings you contentment :)
I think that if your intentions are good, then that is the main thing; if we continue to beat ourselves up, then a) we are not going to grown, and b) we are probably not as much fun to be around.
ReplyDelete