puddles in heaven

My boyfriend was driving, and was excited by a big puddle so sped up to create maximum effect. We're very different. I avoid puddles wherever possible. I like the idea of finding joy in them tho, and we discussed making the most of life whilst we can. I countered that there will be puddles in heaven. Not that I'm really sure heaven exists, but if it does hopefully it will have whatever it is that brings joy, including massive puddles.

Let's not wait. Whatever you find enjoyment in, hope there is plenty of it this weekend.

I don't believe in idiots

Two aspects of who I am lead me to believing that no-one is worth writing off.
Firstly I'm the kind of Christian who believes that every single human is made in God's image, is wonderfully created and is a miracle to marvel at. Secondly, my counselling concepts mean I'm committed to the idea that we can believe in the goodness of all, that everyone is doing the best they can at any one moment.

Now that doesn't mean that we don't also make mistakes, hurt others, and cause all kinds of nightmares. And right now, with the possibility that Donald Trump could lead America, with all that encumbent power and potential consequences, and many hideous daily acts of violence occurring around the world, I can see it's tempting to brand some people as idiotic, dangerous, evil etc.

And yet I don't believe in idiots (or evil). I do believe that any of us can get trapped into ways of responding that mean we're not always thinking clearly, we can accidently or deliberately cause harm because of the struggles we are dealing with. And so we all need a hand.

This week I've shouted at both the smoke alarm and the microwave, both when they were simply doing their job. I figured it was better to vent my stress at inanimate objects than people, and I wasn't grateful to them for their reminders that a) I wasn't watching my cooking and b) I had long finished my cooking and needed to come back to it (I've not had a microwave before with this function. It's quite useful really as I'm now less likely to leave things in once finished). The shouting tells me I'm a bit overstretched, not that I'm bad or stupid. I'm off for a sing, that should do the trick.

staying alive

I probably shouldn't be watching this programme about ambulance teams working in London. Its harrowing. I am awaiting a social worker comedy that's on in half an hour.
There's so much about being alive I take for granted. I was grumpy this morning about not having any teabags.
And my admiration for my paramedic friends has risen even higher. One on the TV said that every shift he declares at least one person dead.

I'm the eldest in my team at work and yesterday people were saying how old they see themselves and were all imagining themselves as younger. Except me, who is already fantasizing about retiring, even tho I have nearly 3 decades to go. I think I might need a bit of a break. I fell asleep when I got home from work yesterday, I can't remember that ever happening before.

not in the city

I'm not a city girl. So maybe it's cos I spent both sat and sunday in two different cities, accessed by car, that by the end of the weekend I was craving fields and open skies. I got my atlas out and pored over the islands that I fancy visiting.
Today is cold and miserable and not much has gone to plan. I think tonight I'll look online at some pics to see which Hebridean islands in particular I want on my itinery.

Scottish longing

The aerial circus wasn't where it was supposed to be and we were too tired to hang round for 2 and a half hours so sadly we came home before the lights procession. We instead watched a film that despite it's ridiculous premis I enjoyed. The decoy bride, set on a fictional hebridean island, has reminded me how much I want to see more of the west coast of Scotland. I will see if I can watch local hero again,  as that's what started the longing to go.
I will make my dream happen.

what is

I didn't remember til after 7pm yesterday that it was my wedding anniversary. If I were still married that would be a terrible confession. But as I'm not, I'm taking it as a sign that I'm moving forward, focussed on the what is, not the what isn't.
I want to go and support one of my friends dancing this afternoon but wonder if I have enough energy to be out in town from then til the nighttime light procession. Also I'm aware the longer we're away from home the easier it is to spend money. The pull to read under the duvet, or start a jigsaw, is strong. But I could do those anytime...
Was good to go out, Preston pride was great, and I had many present moments. It's hard tho to stay with the what is,I really missed being with my kids today.

the one with the baked cheesecake

Is my body preparing for winter, wanting to lay down fat stores? I just can't seem to eat enough at the moment. We're booked in for birthday lunch in 2 hours but my tummy is already rumbling. Maybe its the wafts of the baked cheesecake for later, eminating from the kitchen? My girly hasn't made cheesecake before, I'm very excited by it. I love how she takes people's birthdays seriously and gives up hours of her time in creating edible wonders. She's a guddun.