flagrant disregard of warnings!

I've been thinking this week about how people can warn us about things and have heard the phrase "don't say I didn't warn you". I understand that this comes from a place of people wanting to protect those they love. And I'm not stupid - when I see a warning sign on a motorway, I do slow down and am extra vigilent. And yet I'm also aware that I don't live my life according to warnings :) It's like the stranger danger thing - I don't want to have my children suspicious of everyone they meet. When they leave each morning I don't issue a list of things to watch out for that might harm them. I tell them I love them and encourage them to have fun or have a good day. I firmly believe we see what we look for. So if I'm watching out for danger, guess what I'm going to spot!
So here's what I'm going to look out for - evidence of people doing good, loving well. If people want to warn others about their behaviour, I suggest it says more about the warnee rather than the one being warned. I'm so glad I don't have to operate systems such as three strikes and you're out. No threats hanging over us, hopefully just the knowledge that nothing is unforgiveable. I find that quite a relief :)

Late night last night and early start this morning - I am glad I wrote this last night, my brain hasn't kickstarted enough yet to write!! I have the wild goose song in my head "Don't be afraid, my love is stronger, my love is stronger than your fear. Don't be afraid, my love is stronger and I have promised, promised to be always near". It's got me through many a dark moment. Today the fear isn't standing a chance of winning. Today I'm really clear that we can be free from the fear, and just boldly love. Yay!

mission statement

I'm a big fan of Pip Wilson, he of "you are beautiful" declarations. I follow his blog, often short and to the point, and was particularly impressed with his recent one revealing his mission statement in just 6 words:
"I will be an effective lover"

Now, I like the potential discomfort in the use of the word lover, since as you know I think love in all its forms is marvellous and yet we live in a culture that obsesses with sex. And this too is what my aim in life is. I want to learn how to love better those I'm lucky enough to have in my life. So I want to get closer to and love better my children, my parents, my boyfriend, my friends, those I work with, the people I will pass as I walk across the army camp shortly, those I've not yet met.

I tried singing fearlessly again last night and remembered what the choir leader said about it feeling a bit out of control, that when we sing in a measured way and think about it, then it's like we have it in a box. When we become fearless we can feel we have less control. Sometimes I feel loving fearlessly can be a bit like that, and I'm not perfect and still have much to learn!

As I don't think love is zero sum, I'm of the view that the better I get at loving anyone, the knock on effect should be positive, the more refined I can be in my loving effectively - tho we all need love in different ways so what will work for some won't work for others. Time/focus/energy, they are not zero sum so there's balancing to be done there. I shall keep up my metaphorical tightrope walking practice :)

http://www.pipwilson.com/2015/04/my-mission-statement-pipwilsoncom.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+pipwilsonbhp+%28Pip+Wilson+bhp+......+blog%29

on not running away with the circus

The theme of my current book group, and subject of a radio interview I was listening to last night, was running away with the circus. I have to say there's not many things I'm less likely to do (cue me thinking of others things I'm unlikely to ever do like take up butchery etc. Anyway, you know what I mean.) This is not only because I don't enjoy performing and am hopeless at things like juggling and tight rope walking (except figuratively, I can be good at both those when we're only dealing in metaphor). It's mainly because I just don't do Running Away. Sure, like everyone I have my moments of imagining heading off for a remote island and lying back and gazing at the clouds without having to worry about responsibilities. But not only am I just too sensible, I also actually know I wouldn't enjoy leaving behind all those I am in connection with. So after a couple of minutes of clouds scuttling by, I'd be wanting to text my kids, arrange a visit from friends - I don't think I'd escape cos I actually have set my life up in order to be bound up rather than free from (relationships, not stuff, we can all be more free from stuff!)
That's not to say the occasional holiday wouldn't be nice. But tricky as I find conflict, and staying in at times, I'm more likely to be the one running towards the Sorting It Out, rather than away from it. So if you like having me in your life you can breathe a sigh of relief - I'm not planning on running away anytime soon :)

what's important

One of the fab outcomes of reflection, for me, is that it helps me refocus on what it important. So in discussing with a friend yesterday I commented how I wouldn't have my balance right if work prevented me from phoning a friend in need. Later I was about to run an evening session and hadn't finished the tidying but remembered my words so phoned a frined instead - I'm glad I did, it was the right thing to do.
One difficult of not being omnipotent is that I don't know in advance what might turn out to be important. So with hindsight, we know that tidying that sheet in the garden would have been crucial in preventing that accident, or spending time with that person could have been the most important thing as we then weren't going to see them again. But we don't have hindsight in advance. Obviously. So we get to constantly try and figure out what's important now despite not knowing what is coming next. "If onlies" are pointless. For me, reflection and prayer are what help me discern what is important to me, and to clear out what gets in the way of living my life and handling the challenges in the way that I'd like to.
What works for you?

the smell of burning rubber

After some fun in the sun by the sea (it was much much colder than anticipated but we still had lovely icecreams), it was back to Project Garden. One of the plans is for a tyre swing. Drilling a hole into a tyre is way harder than I could have imagined - there's a layer of metal threads that were very tricky to get through. I now can still smell the stench of burning rubber in my scarf. And whilst we've succeeded in breaking through the strands, the hole is nowhere near big enough yet to get the rope through. Maybe that will stay on hold for now til we get better tools. Meanwhile today's another sunny day but I really must tried and do some paid work. Oh and some more sorting for Christian Aid Week. I'm glad they've already released £50,000 for Nepal.

sing fearlessly

How awesome is this path my girly's made up to the "secret garden"?

Our lovely choir director gave us lots of tips, my favourite being to sing fearlessly, as fear holds us back. This seems valuable advice for life generally.
I've definitely increased my confidence in singing and enjoyed making good use of my 'earthy' voice rather than my head voice. Demonstrations available, but not via the internet!! We spent most of the day learning the one song. It's all to do with how we need each other:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uMcJL_UDAvw&list=PLX6vD4vyFVomRzX7UatjhMe-Z5QfrC5CE

on my side

I didn't really want to get up yesterday, the challenges felt too great. But up I got and the day turned out far better than I expected. Instead of it all being down to me to resolve, I felt the problems were shared, and that makes everything so much more bearable when we're in it together rather than set up as adversaries. I don't know if estates did come and look at my wall last night, I didn't see them, but I feel they are taking it seriously, it's not all down to me to take charge.
Today again I don't feel like getting up, beset by yet another cold. But I have a whole day of singing, I'm so lucky to spend so much of my life doing what I love. If you're not spending the whole day doing what you love, I hope you can notice the fab little bits and relish those.
Xxxxxxxxx
Singing great. Earthquake sad.