having the time of our lives

I was struck yesterday by the lyric "are we having the time of our lives?"
Are you?
If not, what do you think it is that is stopping you from having the time of your life? This really is it, we're not going to get a second chance at it, so I'm determined to have the time of my life. Even when it's not what I thought it would be, or maybe what I'd like it to be in places. Yes we need to grieve our losses and not be bullied into feeling anything other than we're feeling. But we can be encouraged to see the best in what is, rather than pine after what isn't. A friend with terminal cancer recently described himself as "the luckiest man alive" - he is an inspiration for finding gratitude.

When I'm secure in myself, I love how playful I can be with people rather than take it all personally. It is at those moments I'm having the time of my life, being with those I love and not letting their stuff hook into mine.

I'm struggling to do up my jeans at the moment. Maybe I'm going to have to cut back on the icecream. But I like icecream. Maybe instead I'll pop into the charity shop for some new jeans? Today's hopefully a bit less full-on than my days of late, so popping into the charity shops in a possibility, tho not a priority.

Hope whatever your day holds you are having the time of your life :D

Chinese takeaway

Continuing the spirit of trying new stuff whilst my kids are away, last night I had my first ever Chinese takeaway. I realise that might sound odd as a 40 year old Westerner, but it's true!
At some point in my youth I went to a Chinese restaurant and din't at all like the meal I had - too oily and fishy tasting. I made the same mistake last night and had a bite of prawn cracker, which really made my mouth cringe. I like Quavers so it's not the texture, it's the fish taste and I have never liked fish. Anyway, undeterred I continued with the vegetarian banquet we'd ordered and really really liked a honey tasting cashew nut dish. So, it will not be my last :)
I realise I've never ordered a takeaway at all to this house (we collected it ourselves last night) and given how often in movies takeout pizza appears, it's something my children have never experienced in real life - seems a bit daft when you can throw a pizza in the oven and it be done before you've even phoned up for one. When they're back i'll introduce them to a chinese dish and we'll see how we get on.

It doesn't feel much like wednesday today. I think partly cos I'm having such an unusual week, but partly cos I know I'm going tonight to my Friday night choir rather than my wednesday one! But first, work.

tin foil hat

My boyfriend and boat living friend tried their best to explain it to me, but my head still can't quite get around the fact that EVERYTHING that is on the internet is floating around in the air all at the same time. That's every you tube video, every email, every page of info. All in the air, at the same time. When I think how much data is needed just to reproduce a single picture, I can't understand how it is possible to have everything out there in the same piece of air all at once. It's just unimaginable to me, more than my brain can compute.

So seeing as my mind is already blown, it was timely to watch this today about just how big the universe is:
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=701885149860397&set=vb.132091450173106&type=2&theater

Meanwhile it was ace to spend a morning with a one year old. They're great at wonder, aren't they. We as adults don't tend to get excited by pigeons, so it was inspirational to watch her run excitedly towards one.

My boyfriend is off work again today and so my day looks a bit packed, cos as soon as I return from my day at work that's almost when his day begins and we're then going to do all kinds of things like take a desk to his flat and more visiting. Better get started!

Hope you find much to marvel at today :D

playgrounds

I've filled every minute of today with fun plans (around work) so no time to blog!!!!
Taking curry to my friend to see his temporary new home on a boat later, and off to the playground now with another friend and her granddaughter. I've done more playgrounds these last few days without my kids than I've done with my own kids this last whole year!!

One fun moment of the day so far was politely refusing a door to door window salesman and him accepting the lolly I offered. I have a bag of lollies by my front door to sweeten my rejection of door to door sales folk :D

d&d, rpg and oomd

I was out of my depth last night. I'd been invited to a board games evening and in my mind there would be games a bit like Monopoly. I was a bit apprehensive then when I discovered the games were of the role playing variety, something I've never done before. I'm all up for trying new things tho, and even if I never fully grasped all the subtleties, I had fun which was my primary objective, and someone else won, which was theirs, so all was well!!
I'd spent the afternoon hanging out with another friend in the sunshine, so it turned out to be a more sociable day than anticipated, which is always good by me :D
This morning is also out of my comfort zone as I'm doing the technology at church but in a different way. Someone's offered to sit with me for moral support tho and that can make all the difference can't it.

If you're doing anything new today I hope you can feel the presence of loved ones right by your side cheering you on and wanting the best for you, cos you're not on your own, you never are :D

forgiven?

The dog sleeps in my bed with me at night and it's a redeeming feature of what can often feel a tricky set up. I love his soft ears and reassuring presence. So it's been tough not having him to cuddle up to of late. I don't know if it's the heat, or if he was blaming me for his hurt paw, or needed to retreat because of the pain, but for two nights I missed him, particularly as there has been no-one else in the house. Last night he joined me again and I'm glad and feel forgiven.
I was chatting with a friend about blame. He speculated that dogs don't understand where the pain has come from so blame the nearest person. I said that people sometimes do that too. Hurting is horrible and we're often keen to be able to blame someone else for how we're feeling. Insurance companies and lawyers make a ton of money out of that process, and family arguments are plentiful as we seek to share out the hurt.
And it's really hard not to get sucked into that process. I know I'm not alone in detesting being criticised, so everytime it happens I get hurt and struggle. It happened recently, an email telling me to do something differently so it would work better and I was immediately in that place of "fine, if they don't like the way I do it I'm not going to do it again, they can find some other willing person who can do it, don't they understand how my life is and that I'm doing my best etc etc." (I got over it in a moment or two, and could see the validity of their criticism, but it was interesting to note my reaction). I see it happen when I comment on others too, and they feel it as a rejection of who they are, and up go the defence walls.
I don't know how to do it differently. How do we get to be in relationship with others and share how something impacts on us without implying that the other person is anything less than wonderful - which they are? I guess I just get to focus on my own reactions cos I can't control theirs. So when I am criticised, I get to notice what comes up for me - hurrah,  I've identified where I still need to work on my hurts. And when I interact with others who are hurt by my criticisms, I again get to notice what comes up for me - oh no, I hate hurting others, and I know how awful it is to feel like we're not accepted just the way we are. And then remember in both cases, that we're all doing our best and that's enough.

Today has a gaping stretch of time on my own before going out this evening, so I'll be writing a list of stuff to do, cos there always is stuff to do. Hope you enjoy yours.

refusing to be enemies

I've had my head in the sand about the recent atrocities in the middle east. I don't understand the fighting and I just want it to end. It was good then to be reminded that there are people who are refusing to play war's game of drawing up sides and dividing people one from another.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/rossalynwarren/jewish-and-arab-people-are-posing-together-in-inspiring-phot?s=mobile

We are persuaded on a daily basis to be divided from other human beings. To compete, to judge, to look down on, to disregard. When we get hurt the temptation is to dismiss or dislike. That's not how I want to live. And so I too refuse to take enemies - those who don't like me, those I offend, those I make mistakes around. I know there are people who don't like me and there's little I can do about how they feel - that's up to them. It takes 2 to be enemies and what I do have control over is how I react. Again and again I will choose love, inspired by others I see choosing to focus on life and on hope, with generosity and gratitude spilling from their eyes.
I believe we all can choose - I refuse to be your enemy, I also refuse to condone war, and I will keep on encouraging you to look for humanity everywhere.
Big love xx