Unexpected sunshine instead of the predicted continuation of the downpour that has been February, meant standing in the park suddenly became feasible. The annual giving-flowers-to-strangers day is a moveable feast, depending on when I have time to do it. I went prepared, taking a few already bloomed daffodils from my vase at home, which was good as the ones I then bought in the shop were tightly budded so less appealing.
I wasn't out long, only one person declining this year, and as usual, a fair bit of curiosity as to why I do it.
I thought I'd dropped a label that fluttered off in the wind so ran to retrieve it rather than cause litter, and would you believe it, it was actually a ten pound note. This presented a small quandry... Am I meant to go and buy a tenner's more daffodils? Give it to UNICEF (I'd posted earlier in the day about world hunger)? Would it be a bad use of police time to hand it in? Or do I just leave it for someone else to find?
This is exactly why I don't do the lottery, as winning would be way too much of a weighty dilemma as to how to distribute the windfall.
I'm sure I'll be presented with lots of opportunities to give it away :-)
Saturday, 29 February 2020
Wednesday, 1 January 2020
2020
Do I make the cheesy reference to 2020 vision?
It's tempting, especially as I've ended the previous decade with a tricky yet delightful jigsaw given me as a Christmas present from my offspring. A happy memory of the three of us is the image of the 1000 piece puzzle, and each piece is pixellated rather than immediately obvious. The hours I've bent over it these past few days gave me time to reflect on the similarity to parenting, that it often seems unclear and hard to discern exactly what is what, but with much persistence the bigger picture emerges and there are moments of sensing achievement.
The last decade turned out a bit unexpectedly on many fronts and there have certainly been challenges, but I've met so many incredible, wonderful people on the way, so the facebook decade photo I just posted has me smiling at the start and end.
It's tempting, especially as I've ended the previous decade with a tricky yet delightful jigsaw given me as a Christmas present from my offspring. A happy memory of the three of us is the image of the 1000 piece puzzle, and each piece is pixellated rather than immediately obvious. The hours I've bent over it these past few days gave me time to reflect on the similarity to parenting, that it often seems unclear and hard to discern exactly what is what, but with much persistence the bigger picture emerges and there are moments of sensing achievement.
The last decade turned out a bit unexpectedly on many fronts and there have certainly been challenges, but I've met so many incredible, wonderful people on the way, so the facebook decade photo I just posted has me smiling at the start and end.
Wednesday, 13 November 2019
Sweet dreams
I do like a beautiful smell ( tho nothing overpowering, and I don't do perfume) so what a joy yesterday to be given a particularly lovely lush bath bomb, that when left on my pillow for a couple of hours, scented my dreams as I drifted off to sleep. I've now moved it to my t shirt drawer and think I'll keep shifting its location.
The delight has continued today... I was so pleased to see my daughter's polling card. Not only does it signal her transition to adulthood, it gives me hope that maybe a new generation of voters will want something better than our current situation. I desperately hope so.
The delight has continued today... I was so pleased to see my daughter's polling card. Not only does it signal her transition to adulthood, it gives me hope that maybe a new generation of voters will want something better than our current situation. I desperately hope so.
Saturday, 19 October 2019
Well-being
Each year I get to pick a "shared value" of my work team, and demonstrate throughout the year that I'm working on it. This year I've chosen "valuing our well-being" and am noting the "our" - it's not going to be all about me... But it can start with me :-)
I've found that - especially when I work a late night, but even when I don't - I'm prone to waking up in the middle of the night, mulling tasks over, planning what to do next. I'm going to try various strategies to stop doing this, beginning with firmly (but gently) telling myself "not now" and deliberately shifting my thoughts, repeatedly if they get dragged back. I'm increasing my attempts at calming yoga each night. And will look out for other strategies too. Of course I don't want to find I'm adding to my stress by piling pressure onto the first work based frets with a follow up of " I'm meant to be evidencing that I'm getting better at this"!
I think it's an important attitude and one others could consider too. Yesterday I knew that I was doing the driver behind a favour, but he didn't see it like that with his gesturing and grumbling. But if I had ploughed into the cyclists in front who were turning right, he'd have had to use even more of his day sat there, to give a witness statement etc. I tried to be generous towards him, maybe he was desperate to get to hospital to be with a dying loved one. We never know what's going on for anyone else.
When we don't prioritize our wellbeing, my experience says our bodies take it upon themselves to make us do so, and we get sick so that we have to slow down, reassess and hopefully learn. Today is one of those fabulous days when I didn't have to set an alarm, and there is nowhere I have to be at any time of today. Of course there are things that need doing... If I miss a day of laundry it starts to pile up, and I do need to plan Sunday school for tomorrow. And the leaking tap is bugging me. But mainly today I can tune into my flow and go with it. I hope you too get a day like that soon.
I've found that - especially when I work a late night, but even when I don't - I'm prone to waking up in the middle of the night, mulling tasks over, planning what to do next. I'm going to try various strategies to stop doing this, beginning with firmly (but gently) telling myself "not now" and deliberately shifting my thoughts, repeatedly if they get dragged back. I'm increasing my attempts at calming yoga each night. And will look out for other strategies too. Of course I don't want to find I'm adding to my stress by piling pressure onto the first work based frets with a follow up of " I'm meant to be evidencing that I'm getting better at this"!
I think it's an important attitude and one others could consider too. Yesterday I knew that I was doing the driver behind a favour, but he didn't see it like that with his gesturing and grumbling. But if I had ploughed into the cyclists in front who were turning right, he'd have had to use even more of his day sat there, to give a witness statement etc. I tried to be generous towards him, maybe he was desperate to get to hospital to be with a dying loved one. We never know what's going on for anyone else.
When we don't prioritize our wellbeing, my experience says our bodies take it upon themselves to make us do so, and we get sick so that we have to slow down, reassess and hopefully learn. Today is one of those fabulous days when I didn't have to set an alarm, and there is nowhere I have to be at any time of today. Of course there are things that need doing... If I miss a day of laundry it starts to pile up, and I do need to plan Sunday school for tomorrow. And the leaking tap is bugging me. But mainly today I can tune into my flow and go with it. I hope you too get a day like that soon.
Sunday, 6 October 2019
Knitting rainbows
Today's a full on day of church (Fijian lunch after the Harvest service) then work over Manchester way, so I'm pleased to have managed lots of relaxing yesterday. Book group book in the bath, film cuddled up on the sofa in the evening, plus a lovely stint of volunteering in the morning. I do like it when I achieve balance!
Saturday, 7 September 2019
Imagery of calm
I was going to blog yesterday then discovered the one I'd written the week before hadn't posted. I have more time today any way... I am enjoying my weekends even more since starting a full time job as it's an opportunity to do things I've not had chance to do during the week. This term in particular tho I will be working a fair bit at weekends and evenings so I will be juggling when I'm working.
The word juggle is one I've been using a lot to describe how I feel about trying to be a good enough parent, worker, partner, daughter, friend etc. It's a better image than the one I was holding yesterday, which was of being stretched, for which the mental visual was one of being on a torture rack and pulled. At least the juggle image conjours happy times of clowns and fun. I currently am picturing myself with a full tray of crockery that I'm trying to keep upright, whilst I'm doing my best to move on some kind of large turquoise rubber ball. I'm wobbling all over the place whilst glasses slide precariously around the tray, in some cases tipping over the edge and smashing on the ground.
Attempting to be present whilst fretting I should be elsewhere is a challenge, but there's no point rearranging my work day to ensure I can be supportive at a hospital appointment if I then can't focus on actually being there, so it's important once I've committed to being in the one place to not wish I was in another. Sometimes I manage it, sometimes I don't and have been stressed and grumpy.
I wonder if I can change the picture I have of myself as that will alter how I actually am. To imagine myself in a more serene way. I once felt really calm on a low boat and remember telling myself to take an internal photo of just how smooth and peaceful it all was. Now is the time to relive that experience and embody that tranquillity.
More than once people have commented on my zen attitude, so I know I can do it. Hope you too today can embody whatever it is you want :-)
The word juggle is one I've been using a lot to describe how I feel about trying to be a good enough parent, worker, partner, daughter, friend etc. It's a better image than the one I was holding yesterday, which was of being stretched, for which the mental visual was one of being on a torture rack and pulled. At least the juggle image conjours happy times of clowns and fun. I currently am picturing myself with a full tray of crockery that I'm trying to keep upright, whilst I'm doing my best to move on some kind of large turquoise rubber ball. I'm wobbling all over the place whilst glasses slide precariously around the tray, in some cases tipping over the edge and smashing on the ground.
Attempting to be present whilst fretting I should be elsewhere is a challenge, but there's no point rearranging my work day to ensure I can be supportive at a hospital appointment if I then can't focus on actually being there, so it's important once I've committed to being in the one place to not wish I was in another. Sometimes I manage it, sometimes I don't and have been stressed and grumpy.
I wonder if I can change the picture I have of myself as that will alter how I actually am. To imagine myself in a more serene way. I once felt really calm on a low boat and remember telling myself to take an internal photo of just how smooth and peaceful it all was. Now is the time to relive that experience and embody that tranquillity.
More than once people have commented on my zen attitude, so I know I can do it. Hope you too today can embody whatever it is you want :-)
Friday, 6 September 2019
Greenbelt firsts
I've been to around 23 greenbelts now and have experienced each differently, especially whilst taking offspring from when they were brand new to now when I have minimal parental involvement. There were several firsts this year. Arriving in 28 degrees, departing in 31, with higher temperatures in the middle. This means for the first time I purchased an icecream at greenbelt. Better still was the next day when I bought a slushie... Normally the artificial colours and flavours would be far from desirable, yet it was one of the most perfect things in that moment, under the trees enjoying the shade.
My partner was only 3 weeks post-surgery so our aim was to take things easy and not push ourselves. The heat and sun necessitated it anyway, so we had a lovely laidback festival, lounging rather than dashing. At one point this meant we had the joy of an unprogrammed set starting up next to where we were resting. We also made the decision to eat more on site rather than traipse to and from our distant tent, which meant lots of delicious meals.
There were some inspiring speakers. It was great to hear Nadia again, we had not one, but 3 copies of her new book signed. And Russell Brand had a beautiful humility. I'm trying to put into practice what he said when he was asked about people who misunderstand him. He spoke about how it's not his purpose to try and make people see him a particular way, his task is only to serve and love. I can see how any of us could expend unnecessary energy concerned by if others have the right impression of us when actually that doesn't matter at all. This morning when I was praying before embarking on a tricky conversation, I reminded myself that all I want and need to do is love love love. If I just stay focussed on that, all is well.
This greenbelt marked a year since starting my job with the Methodist church, and as a result felt different. I knew I'd bump into colleagues and people I know through work, and I wondered if that would make the festival more like work than fun. Life/discipleship/work are definitely intertwined, so sometimes I noted things that would be useful for work. But it didn't make it less fun. I think my job involves a lot of fun and in many ways reminds me of greenbelt all year round. The kind of books I need to read for work are the sort of things I'd hear as talks at the festival. The kind of people I meet throughout my working week remind me of the impromptu communities that form on the August bank holiday weekend.
Hurrah!
My partner was only 3 weeks post-surgery so our aim was to take things easy and not push ourselves. The heat and sun necessitated it anyway, so we had a lovely laidback festival, lounging rather than dashing. At one point this meant we had the joy of an unprogrammed set starting up next to where we were resting. We also made the decision to eat more on site rather than traipse to and from our distant tent, which meant lots of delicious meals.
There were some inspiring speakers. It was great to hear Nadia again, we had not one, but 3 copies of her new book signed. And Russell Brand had a beautiful humility. I'm trying to put into practice what he said when he was asked about people who misunderstand him. He spoke about how it's not his purpose to try and make people see him a particular way, his task is only to serve and love. I can see how any of us could expend unnecessary energy concerned by if others have the right impression of us when actually that doesn't matter at all. This morning when I was praying before embarking on a tricky conversation, I reminded myself that all I want and need to do is love love love. If I just stay focussed on that, all is well.
This greenbelt marked a year since starting my job with the Methodist church, and as a result felt different. I knew I'd bump into colleagues and people I know through work, and I wondered if that would make the festival more like work than fun. Life/discipleship/work are definitely intertwined, so sometimes I noted things that would be useful for work. But it didn't make it less fun. I think my job involves a lot of fun and in many ways reminds me of greenbelt all year round. The kind of books I need to read for work are the sort of things I'd hear as talks at the festival. The kind of people I meet throughout my working week remind me of the impromptu communities that form on the August bank holiday weekend.
Hurrah!
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